Yay! First chapter! you have certainly piqued my interest! I'm very curious! - and lookin forward to some more! I did find one or two errore, let me just copy them into here;
*Which meant two solid days of video games and TV movie for them* - i think it should be tv movies.
*The class was restlessly sitting in their seats* - class is plural with a verb - so it should be the class were restlessly..., or the class were sitting in their seats restlessly?
*We can meet at my house then,” Courtney said at last. “But after 4:30.”* - this is a very minor one, but what the hey - i should really be *'We can meet at my house then,'Courtney said at last, 'but after 4.30'*. One full sentence - i know, anal, but i just noticed it!
Thats all I noticed at first glance. If you need a beta I'd be more than happy to read things through for you?*and this is not me trying to get sneak previews of the story or anything^^* lol! But seriously (there i go going against my own advice and using but at the beginning of a sentence!) - I'd be happy to help! - yay for eerie fics!
For future refernce, would you rather I commented on LJ here or on the site where your fic is posted?
Hmm..whats this assignment all about!ooooh...the eeeriness is approaching!!
review, comments, questions!
*Which meant two solid days of video games and TV movie for them* - i think it should be tv movies.
*The class was restlessly sitting in their seats* - class is plural with a verb - so it should be the class were restlessly..., or the class were sitting in their seats restlessly?
*We can meet at my house then,” Courtney said at last. “But after 4:30.”* - this is a very minor one, but what the hey - i should really be *'We can meet at my house then,'Courtney said at last, 'but after 4.30'*. One full sentence - i know, anal, but i just noticed it!
Thats all I noticed at first glance. If you need a beta I'd be more than happy to read things through for you?*and this is not me trying to get sneak previews of the story or anything^^* lol! But seriously (there i go going against my own advice and using but at the beginning of a sentence!) - I'd be happy to help! - yay for eerie fics!
For future refernce, would you rather I commented on LJ here or on the site where your fic is posted?
Hmm..whats this assignment all about!ooooh...the eeeriness is approaching!!