Deep below the surface, the Sea Hag raged. Bent and swollen fingers curved like the ribs of sunken ships, tearing at the lake bed. The gouges became furrows, deepened still to become trenches, changing the topography of the World Beneath the Waves and, as a consequence, changing the currents around it.

The waters became treacherous, routes that were easily navigated now twisted out of true or vanished entirely, and vicious storms sprang up out of nowhere, capsizing ghost ships and sending their crews to a second, permanent death.

And the mermaids sighed, and fetched their shovels, and went to work.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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The mermaid wore tall platform shoes, though lacking any legs, she wore them around her neck, the laces knotted to form a makeshift chain. The thick soles were made from some sort of transparent plastic, and inside the soles a dozen tiny human figures floated, suspended in clear jelly. They jiggled and drifted with every small movement of the mermaid's body, and it was because of this that it took Janet so long to realise that the tiny humans were alive.

Although, she thought, watching them thrash slowly about in their choking viscous prison, probably not for very much longer.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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This is the most magnificent map ever mapped. pic.twitter.com/s07g847T4E

— Tommy (@atters1000) January 21, 2021

The waves snapped hungrily at her feet, and the wet sand sucked at her dirty pink converse with a hunger she could almost feel.

In the surf near the shore, the little mackerel soldiers were darting back and forth, their bodies flashing silver against the white and foaming crests. Further out, the human heads and torsos of mermaids bobbed amidst the gentle swells, long wet hair bright and gleaming against their bare shoulders and barely-there seashell bras.

Beside her, Melanie's black sneakers left imprints that were quickly wiped away, and the incoming tide split and flowed around her.

"They don't like me as much as they like you," she said, and her voice was full of sympathy.

Janet didn't seem to hear her, and when Melanie reached for her best friend's hand, for a moment it was cold and slick and rasped like scales against her fingers.

Then Janet blinked and her eyes were brown again, not the aching and hungry blue-grey of the lake.

"Sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I missed that bit."

One of the mermaids made a rude gesture at Melanie, which she returned with both hands.

"Never mind," she said. "It wasn't so important, anyway."

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Janet thought about it.

"I do have to work this weekend," she said thoughtfully. "And two less ravenous, toothsome things preying on the summer people would make it easier..."

"I'll give you twenty bucks if you wait for them to go back to the Baitshop on their own," said Dash. "And I'll make a special effort to steer bad tippers towards them while they're here."

Janet snorted.

"That benefits you as much as me," she said. "No, I want..."

She paused, thinking.

"A hundred dollars up-front, and a jar of curse-free gooseberry preserve from the stall at the farmer's market."

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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"I was wondering about the vegetables," Janet admitted. "I didn't know we still had a farmer's market. I thought they died out when the Harvest King... you know, didn't."

"It's mostly garbage," said Dash. "Hardly worth the effort of summoning the potato blight. Even the kelpie's only eating this stuff because it comes attached to a human arm."

"You shouldn't judge them on that," said Janet. "Getting a kelpie to eat it's vegetables is like... well, like getting a toddler to do it. This stuff could be perfectly fine."

Dash made a face. By the bandstand, so did the kelpie.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Harvest

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"Don't feel too bad for that guy," Dash advised. "I know him from tending bar at the Lodge. Lousy tipper, mean drunk."

He gestured at the t-shirt. "He's not even on the Loyal Order's bowling team," he said. "Just wears that because he thinks it makes him look cool."

He shook his head in disgust.

"Oh, well then," said Janet, with withering sarcasm. "What a monster. I guess he deserved a venomous kelpie bite."

"All I'm saying," said Dash, "Is that Eerie won't miss one more lawnmower-riding jackass who thinks he knows more about corn whiskey than he actually does."

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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"You're right," said Dash. "I meant to say lamprey."

They watched as the kelpie nosed at a handful of wilted greenery being shoved at it by a man in a faded Shucker's Bowlathon shirt. It's snout distended and split, revealing wet, pink flesh coated in a thousand yellow-white barbs. Viscous drool formed sticky webs across it's open maw as it lowered soft lips over vegetation and fingers alike.

The man went very pale, very suddenly.

"How much did you charge that guy?" Janet asked.

"Enough," said Dash. "Since he's not going to be able to get his wallet out again."

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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The mermaid carried a large parasol to keep off the glare of the afternoon sun. Somehow, the fact that the struts were human finger bones and the canopy was a stretched-out screaming face hadn't attracted much attention from the thronging mass of sun-worshippers crowding Deadwood Park that afternoon.

What had attracted their attention, however, was the flesh-eating, gill-sporting kelpie tied to the bench next to her. The thing stank of saltwater and spilled blood, but that hadn't done anything to put off townspeople and tourists alike, who stood with hands outstretched as they offered it seed bags and sugar lumps.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Bull-Shark beanie by Beanie Bastards. Lego Janet by me.



Ongoing Verse: Janet

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