...all long pig, all the time... (
froodle) wrote in
eerieindiana2017-05-20 12:34 am
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Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: War Zone
Two coaches had collided outside the Eerie Bingo Parlour. A third lay on it's side, wheels spinning helplessly against the empty sky. Screams and sirens fought a noisy battle for dominance of the soundscape, and the air was heavy and acrid with fumes from the burning buildings.
Marshall Teller looked at his big sister in horror.
"What did you do?" he demanded.
"Nothing!" said Syndi, her eyes still fixed on the tiny notebook she was furiously scribbling in. "It's what I keep saying to Mom and Dad, it isn't me. Old people in Eerie, they're just like this, all the time."
"They have Molotov cocktails, Syn!" Marshall exclaimed, gesturing at the carnage.
"Ooooh," said Syndi, raising herself from a defensive crouch behind a burnt-out armoured tank and peering around. "That means it's only a matter of time before the volunteer SWAT team shows up. Where'd you see them?"
"Near that weird shuffle board thing," said Marshall. "Somewhere beyond the giant tombola full of grannies in shackles."
"Bingo criminals," said Syndi, already heading in that direction. "People who cheat or talk when the numbers are called or just hold up the game by being too slow with their dabbers."
"That's not a thing," said her brother, stepping over a scattered fifty-two card pick-up that had been weaponised with tiny razor-blade edges. "Even in someplace as weird as Eerie, that's not a thing that happens."
"Okay," said Syndi. "In that case, I guess you didn't just see a bunch of mall strollers very slowly road-haul someone for splitting off from the group without permission."
Any reply Mars might have made was interrupted by a sudden onslaught of canned beets launched via hand-knitted trebuchet from a third-floor window.
"At least open the cans first!" he screamed at the white-haired aggressor just visible behind the shattered safety glass.
His only reply was a derisive cackle and a hail of dominoes from the same quarter. They clicked and rattled like dry bones as they descended, landing with painful precision on his upturned face.
"Don't provoke them," Syndi advised him. "And make sure you don't step on any of the lace doilies lying around - they're covering spike pits full of hard candy shards."
"This isn't happening," said Marshall. "There isn't an octogenarian warzone three miles from our house. I'm dreaming, and in a minute I'll wake up in my own bed and everything will be fine."
"We can't go back yet," said Syndi. "You haven't seen the barricade built from plastic-covered couches or the turf war over who sits closest to the television. We have to at least stay 'til the Passing of the Clicker." She glanced back at her brother's uncomprehending face and clarified, "That's how they swear in a new leader."
"I hate this town," said Marshall.
"Oh come on," said Syndi. "Doesn't all the rioting and looting make you feel a little bit more at home here?"
Marshall looked around at the trash-strewn streets, at the violence raging around and above them, and gave a reluctant nod.
"I guess," he said, grudgingly.
"See?" said Syndi, ruffling his hair in the precise manner at ensured it wouldn't lay flat again without a shower. "Pretty soon Eerie PD will show up and someone will blast them with a blunderbuss full of spare denture parts. It's really gross, you'll love it."
They walked on without speaking for a few more moments, until they came to a blockage caused by several walking frames tangled together in the narrow alley between two burned out buildings. There they paused to pull the makeshift fortification apart, tugging enough individual walkers free to cause the rest of them to collapse in a screech and clatter of falling metal.
"Thanks," said Mars.
"No problem," said his sister, sending a wobbly-legged zimmer careening down the path they had just come as though she were bowling with it.
"Not for the," Marshall gestured at the vanquished defences. "I mean, thanks for all of this."
"Oh Mars," said Syndi, reaching out to give him a quick one-armed hug. "You know you're always welcome to come along when I have adventures and be my bumbling sidekick."
"You ruined it," said Marshall.
Teller Family History
First Date by
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Popcorn by
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The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by
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Lawn by
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Tornado Day, Revisited by
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Wildlife by
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Camping by
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Without Due Care and Attention by
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Lillian by
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