The Final Exhumation of TALES FROM THE CRYPT: A Post-Credits Post Mortem

[froodle]

Welcome for the last time, kiddies! While we buried the column already, I’m just not the kind of ghoul who can spend seven seasons in a well-appointed crypt and not have a few tips, tricks, and treats for those who have as little regard for their well-being as I do when it comes to television programs. So, to celebrate, summate, and reward terrible behavior, may I present…

THE CRYPTIES!

crpties 1 - The Final Exhumation of TALES FROM THE CRYPT: A Post-Credits Post Mortem
The REAL horror is my photo editing skills!
The first and only annual award show for a column covering a 30-year-old television show is here! I alone nominate, vote, and decide on the winners, but really, I do it for the people.

First up: The Essentials The category that I’ve deemed the “Essential Episodes” is basically the Hackademy Awards “Best Picture” of the lauded Crypties. If you want to introduce or reintroduce yourself to the series but don’t have the time or inclination to watch the whole thing, this list is my cream of the crop from each season. Some episodes are on the scarier side, some are the funny ones, but all of them are well-made and carry the fundamental Tales from the Crypt spirit. My favorite favorites are bolded.

(Season one is omitted because it’s only six episodes long, its quality is consistent, and even if you don’t plan on mainlining the whole series, you should just watch the first six because they’re fast, fun, do a crackerjack job at setting the series’ tone, and there are zero calories.)

Season 3: Episode 9: “Undertaking Palor” – Probably my favorite episode of the entire series, this is a gem for fans of The Goonies, Monster Squad, Eerie, Indiana, and other misbegotten-plucky-adolescents-getting-into-weird-jams. For everyone else, there are some real toe-curling deaths here, and John Glover brings his entire, legendary ham to the table.