Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Civic Duty

[froodle]

The last of the chocolate eggs had been eaten, the colourful foils tossed aside in glittering crumbled balls that would adorn the town dump for weeks to come, and the novelty mugs shoved to the back of the cupboard to emerge only when all the normal-shaped mugs were dirty and nobody had loaded the dishwasher.

The Easter Bunny had descended upon the town right on schedule, all teeth and claws and a velvety coat in soft spring colours, hauling the usual half-dozen wailing kindergarteners away to feed the seasonal lands with their life’s blood. Now a rabbit fur in pastel shades of blues and pinks and yellows hung on a curing rack outside the World o’ Stuff, smelling of dead flesh and sugar and surrounded by black swarms of ecstatically buzzing flies.

Sharp-eyed sharp shooters from the Ladies Society for the Beautification of Eerie sat in neat formations of hand-carved wooden rockers along the town borders, their bright Easter bonnets fluttering in the wind. Across the crisp pleats of their smart Sunday skirts, long rifle barrels gleamed in the golden April sunshine. Their trigger fingers itched inside their starched white gloves and they surveyed the landscape from beneath demurely-lowered and gloriously-mascara’d eyelashes, waiting for the skinless corpse of a revenge-driven lagomorph to return from the grave following the traditional three-day break.

One of the Ladies leaned back in her chair, fanning herself with a dog-eared copy of the Werewolves’ Companion 1979 (a hand-stapled sheaf of papers that simply said “it’s a tradition” and “there’s no such thing as werewolves” over and over again).

“Warm today,” she remarked to her nearest neighbour, a middle-aged woman whose Easter bonnet consisted of a papier mache Party Fowl being savaged by duck egg-blue rabbits with razor-sharp fangs made from actual razors. Her comrade-in-arms nodded gravely, never taking her eyes off the horizon.

“Too nice to waste a whole day waiting for the dead to rise,” continued the first Lady. When the Lady in the chicken-slaughter themed headpiece didn’t respond, she sighed and returned her attention back to her assigned watch post.

“There’s nothing worse than an Easter Weekend,” said a Lady two rockers down. “Of course, I’m happy to defend the town against the restless dead, but stretching the whole thing over a four day holiday is a bit much. People have lives.”

“I bet that’s why they do it,” said a different Lady whose bonnet was a mass of living tentacles encircling a Spanish galleon made from Lego. “I think the zombies do it on purpose, making us spend a long weekend stopping them from feasting on the living. They’re jealous.”

“They’re just hungry,” said the lady in the Party Fowl bonnet. “It isn’t personal. The dead don’t understand calendars or the concept of the working week.”

“Lucky zombies,” sighed a fifth Lady. There was a murmur of agreement up and down the ranks of be-hatted sentinels.

“We never have this trouble with the Harvest Kings,” said the Lady in the kraken bonnet. “They die, they stay gone. I don’t understand why a pastel rabbit causes so much more trouble.”

The other Ladies turned to look at her, eyebrows etched in expressions of polite disbelief. The Lady with the tentacles on her hat reddened.

“What?” she asked.

“The Harvest Kings are in Spain, dear,” said an elderly Lady whose empty eye sockets had never hindered her performance as either a look-out or a milliner. “That’s what the propaganda from the Farmers’ Market tells us, so that’s what we believe.”

“Unless you fancy seeing your dad or little brothers’ name come out of the tombola drum in thirteen years time,” added one of the newer Ladies, whose bonnet was a slightly lop-sided affair made from a repurposed Miss Tornado Day hat.

“Oh,” said the Lady with the tentacles.

“Incoming,” said the Lady with the Party Fowl headdress. As one, a dozen polished rifle barrels rose and fixed on a red-black shape lurching towards them between two dilapidated store fronts.

“Relax,” said the Lady with the tentacles. “It’s just Tod McNulty.”

The Ladies returned to their seats in a flurry of smoothed skirts and straightened hairdos.

“He’s not grown out of the goth-rock thing, I take it?” asked the Lady with the truncated funnel cloud hat in a fetching shade of storm blue.

“Nope,” said the Lady in the kraken hat, sweeping her brilliant auburn curls back off her shoulders as she settled back into her rocker.





Easter Weekend

Eeriemat by froodle, in which Lodgepoole reflects on Eerie's laundry habits

Equinox by froodle, in which Mister Lodgepoole adjusts to life on the surface

Egg Hunt by froodle, in which Simon and Mars partake of some traditional Easter activities





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem





Janet

A Ghost in Pink by froodle; Janet's family during the year she was Lost

Jogging by froodle, in which Janet Donner adapts to life in regular Eerie

Plans by froodle, in which Janet Donner deals with Daylight Savings Time yet again

DST by froodle, in which there is a lighthouse

Figurehead by froodle, in which Lake Eerie's ghost pirates encounter the lighthouse





Teller Family History

First Date by froodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventions

Popcorn by froodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.

The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by froodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home town

Lawn by froodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardwork

Tornado Day, Revisited by froodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado Day

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Culinary Delights by froodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accident

Camping by froodle, in which Syndi cannot sleep

Artist in the Family by froodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to Syndi

Without Due Care and Attention by froodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobile

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Brunch by froodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchen

Handmade by froodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's mother

Poor Life Choices by froodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anyway

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Visitor by froodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot

Fresh Sheets by froodle

Tradition by froodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas tree

Hometown by froodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New Jersey