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eerieindianaWritten for the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
31_days prompt: Coffee, tea, or juice?
"It wasn't me!" Dash shouted, holding up his hands as if to demonstrate how very blame-free they were.
Marshall surveyed the wreckage. The stove had melted into a pile of unrecognisable slag. The cabinet doors that weren't splintered on the floor were smoke-blackened and hung half-off their hinges. The fridge had been neatly sliced in two, and what he hoped was raspberry jam was oozing from the crack in the white casing.
"What did you do?!" he demanded.
"Nothing! I don't know! A demon did it and ran away!"
"Wow," said Marshall. "That was a lame excuse even for you."
"I swear, I was only trying to make breakfast." Dash gestured at the burst cereal boxes spilling their crunchy guts across the torn-up floor. Mars paused. The gouges in the linoleum did look remarkably like talons.
"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "You were getting breakfast. How did the demon come into it?"
Dash hesitated. Marshall's eyes narrowed.
"Well..."
"Dash."
"Okay, well technically this part is your fault..."
"What?!"
"Well, you wouldn't get out of bed so we could go to the IHOP, and I was going to use that Foreverware cookbook your mom gave us-" Marshall gave an involuntary shudder and Dash nodded. "Right, so that was out, and then I remembered we still have that copy of the Sorcerers Bible that you never returned to the Eerie Public Library-"
"You stole that! I'm not returning it because I refuse to pay your fines for you!"
"....okay, anyway, and there's a section in there about summoning minor demons to carry out domestic tasks and-"
"Dash," said Marshall slowly. "Please tell me you did not summon some kind of... some kind of a breakfast demon because you wanted pancakes."
Dash folded his arms, leaned against the charred kitchen counter and remained pointedly silent. Marshall groaned.
"You are unbelievable," he said.
"It turns out, if you summon up a cookery demon, you need to have the ingredients it'll use to hand," said Dash. "I thought they just... magically appeared."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, it asked what drinks I wanted serving with brunch, and I said as far as I knew we were out of everything except that bottle of Creme de Menthe your sister gave us for Christmas, and it flew into a rage, trashed the kitchen and told me it was heading back to England."
Marshall picked up the miraculously undamaged copy of the Sorcerers Bible and flipped through the pages.
"I guess it could have been worse," he said. "Apparently there's a cookery demon in here that starts crying if your meals aren't sufficiently nutritionally balanced. If you'd summoned that one to make you bacon and chocolate chip pancakes, we might have drowned in tears."
31_days prompt: Coffee, tea, or juice?"It wasn't me!" Dash shouted, holding up his hands as if to demonstrate how very blame-free they were.
Marshall surveyed the wreckage. The stove had melted into a pile of unrecognisable slag. The cabinet doors that weren't splintered on the floor were smoke-blackened and hung half-off their hinges. The fridge had been neatly sliced in two, and what he hoped was raspberry jam was oozing from the crack in the white casing.
"What did you do?!" he demanded.
"Nothing! I don't know! A demon did it and ran away!"
"Wow," said Marshall. "That was a lame excuse even for you."
"I swear, I was only trying to make breakfast." Dash gestured at the burst cereal boxes spilling their crunchy guts across the torn-up floor. Mars paused. The gouges in the linoleum did look remarkably like talons.
"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "You were getting breakfast. How did the demon come into it?"
Dash hesitated. Marshall's eyes narrowed.
"Well..."
"Dash."
"Okay, well technically this part is your fault..."
"What?!"
"Well, you wouldn't get out of bed so we could go to the IHOP, and I was going to use that Foreverware cookbook your mom gave us-" Marshall gave an involuntary shudder and Dash nodded. "Right, so that was out, and then I remembered we still have that copy of the Sorcerers Bible that you never returned to the Eerie Public Library-"
"You stole that! I'm not returning it because I refuse to pay your fines for you!"
"....okay, anyway, and there's a section in there about summoning minor demons to carry out domestic tasks and-"
"Dash," said Marshall slowly. "Please tell me you did not summon some kind of... some kind of a breakfast demon because you wanted pancakes."
Dash folded his arms, leaned against the charred kitchen counter and remained pointedly silent. Marshall groaned.
"You are unbelievable," he said.
"It turns out, if you summon up a cookery demon, you need to have the ingredients it'll use to hand," said Dash. "I thought they just... magically appeared."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, it asked what drinks I wanted serving with brunch, and I said as far as I knew we were out of everything except that bottle of Creme de Menthe your sister gave us for Christmas, and it flew into a rage, trashed the kitchen and told me it was heading back to England."
Marshall picked up the miraculously undamaged copy of the Sorcerers Bible and flipped through the pages.
"I guess it could have been worse," he said. "Apparently there's a cookery demon in here that starts crying if your meals aren't sufficiently nutritionally balanced. If you'd summoned that one to make you bacon and chocolate chip pancakes, we might have drowned in tears."
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no subject
Date: 2015-10-05 11:16 pm (UTC)because yeah.
anyway.
brilliance
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Date: 2015-10-06 06:52 am (UTC)still better than accidently summoning jamie oliver tho.
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Date: 2015-10-06 11:53 am (UTC)which actually probably would have wound up a good thing...
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Date: 2015-10-06 07:25 pm (UTC)who would just be really u settling because hes way too cheerful and in eerie that never comes off as benign
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Date: 2015-10-06 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-06 06:53 am (UTC)tho honeslty I dont think the kitchen would look much better if t had just been dash trying to cook himself, without magic
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Date: 2016-12-14 05:25 pm (UTC)http://www.jello.com/product/sugar-free-snacks/chocolate-reduced-calorie
and Jello jelly...
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/kraft-jello/products/jello-mixes.aspx
Sam
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