Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Competing Traditions

[froodle]

Written for the Easter Monday challenge, "the risen dead".


"I'm leaving," said Dash, dismounting the rust-spotted bar stool with some difficulty and crossing to the wire-screen door connecting the Teller's two-car garage to the rest of the house.

Marshall looked up from the gore-encrusted work bench, a set of needle-nosed pliers dangling from one rubber-gloved hand.

"You can't," he said.

"Oh, I think you'll find I can," Dash countered. "When you told me the dead were rising, I thought this was a zombie apocalypse situation - flamethrowers, chainsaws, all hands on deck for horrific violence and some opportunistic looting. Instead, I'm spending the long weekend stuck in your parent's carport with a hiker that took a tumble off Wolf Mountain into the one gorge that's filled with necromantic plantlife, and some old guy that keeps cycling between resurrection, screaming insanity in the face of his undying state, and then passing out before resurrecting again."

Whatever reply Marshall might have made was lost as the elderly corpse jerked back to a crude facsimile of life, took in his situation, and began screaming again. The two boys waited awkwardly until the screaming passed and the old man lapsed back into a more moribund form of death.

"See?" said Dash. "You're free to hang out with this bug-eyed screaming idiot and Cliff Pancake over there," - at this the admittedly somewhat flattened hiker-cum-zombie gave him a reproachful look with the eye that hadn't exploded on impact, and was ignored - "But I've got better things to do with my time."

Marshall set the pliers down and turned to face his least-trusted associate.

"Okay," he said, his tone conciliatory. "I admit, as far as revenants go, these two aren't great. But Simon's busy and Syndi's not home, and I need someone here to help me keep an eye on them until midnight on Monday." He paused and took a deep breath before forcing out the next words. "I'll owe you one."

"You'll owe me more than one," said Dash. "But fine. What's the plan?"

Marshall checked the row of watches that stretched up his right forearm.

"Easter's over in twenty-seven hours," he said. "I don't think Cliff's all that mobile, so we can probably just chain him to the work bench to keep him from wandering off. I don't know about Screamy, though - I don't want Mom and Dad asking awkward questions about who was yelling a bunch of truths from beyond the vale after 9 o'clock and bothering the neighbours."

"Gag him," said Dash. "Or you could take his jaw off, that might work."

Marshall picked up the pliers again.

"I was going to pull out his vocal chords," he said. "But without knowing if he feels pain - physical pain, not the spiritual kind he keeps wailing about every time he reanimates - I don't feel right about-"

A cheery note sounded from the next room, the deep and penetrating chime of the doorbell.

"Oh no," said Marshall. "They've heard him already."

Beneath the comforting murmur of the TV, the exchange of living voices seemed loud and strident in the echoing concrete space where the two boys stood listening. A moment later, the whisper of carpet slippers on the polished wood of the kitchen floor gave Marshall just enough time to throw a dustcloth over Cliff before the door opened and Marilyn Teller poked her head into the gloomy interior of the garage.

"Hello, boys," she said. "I thought I heard you in here. No Simon tonight?"

"He's babysitting," said Marshall. "Harley's not allowed out during religious holidays. Too much chance of him accidently-on-purpose inspiring a doomsday cult and kickstarting the end of days."

"Oh, that's too bad," said Marilyn, as though an elementary school inspired end of the world was a pleasant treat frivolously denied to a deserving six year old. "Well, there are some young ladies at the door asking for you. They're wearing an awful lot of fake blood and not nearly enough clothes for the weather, and they say you've stolen their sacrificial king and could they please have him back?" She paused, apparently replaying what she had just said. "Have you joined an improvisational theatre group? Is this a rehearsal? Should your father and I be wearing costumes?"

"Uh," said Marshall, glancing helplessly at Dash. Dash spread his arms wide, none-too-subtly pulling the cloth back over a twitching Cliff Pancake as he did so.

"Yes, Mrs. Teller," he said. "They're Marshall's drama club friends. From the school. Which we both go to. That teaches drama."

Marshall glared at him. Dash shrugged.

"Send them 'round to the garage door, Mom," Mars said, turning back to his mother. "You and Dad just act natural and we'll be out in a minute."

"Okay, honey," said Marilyn, looking a little apprehensive at this ad-hoc request for adlibbing. "We'll do our best."

The door closed behind her, and the boys stared at each other.

"Sacrifical king," said Dash. "Is this a Harvest lottery deal again?"

Marshall shook his head.

"It's gotta be Clifford," he said, pulling the paint-spattered sheet off the compressed zombie. "He was running pretty fast when he went over that drop. They must have been chasing him."

"Screw that," said Dash, snatching up the drop sheet and putting it back over the lest-restless of the two restless dead. "They can have Screamy. I'd rather spend the weekend waiting for Cliff to de-animate into red paste than listen to this old geezer cry about the void between worlds every forty-three minutes."

"Huh," said Marshall. "That's actually a really good point."

"I know," said Dash, already hauling on the chain that would raise the Teller's as-yet unpainted garage door and reveal them to the waiting horde of blood-soaked maenads. "You can thank me with a hefty cash payment later o-what the unholy corn is your Mom doing?"

Marshall looked, and sighed.

"She's serving them hot cocoa," he said. "And asking if they're really warm enough in flower crowns and blood splatter, and probably offering to lend them some of Syndi's Eerie PD sweatshirts."

Dash shook his head.

"Your family is so weird, Teller," he said.



Easter Weekend

Eeriemat by froodle, in which Lodgepoole reflects on Eerie's laundry habits

Equinox by froodle, in which Mister Lodgepoole adjusts to life on the surface

Egg Hunt by froodle, in which Simon and Mars partake of some traditional Easter activities



Teller Family History

First Date by froodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventions

Popcorn by froodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.

The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by froodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home town

Lawn by froodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardwork

Tornado Day, Revisited by froodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado Day

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Culinary Delights by froodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accident

Camping by froodle, in which Syndi cannot sleep

Artist in the Family by froodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to Syndi

Without Due Care and Attention by froodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobile

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Brunch by froodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchen

Handmade by froodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's mother

Poor Life Choices by froodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anyway

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Visitor by froodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot

Fresh Sheets by froodle

Tradition by froodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas tree

Hometown by froodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New Jersey



Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem



Holmes Brothers

The End by froodle, in which Simon reads Harley a bedtime story

Drains by froodle, in which clowns are evil, murderous sacks of shit, and Simon is having none of it

Kaleidoscope by froodle, in which Simon has cause to regret buying cheap toys at the World o' Stuff

Sneakers by froodle, in which the latest Sky Monsters are released

Reception by froodle, in which Simon has problems with his mobile phone

Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox

The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo

Comments

[friendof_dorothy]

love it, especially Marilyn offering the cult members hot chocolate.

[froodle]

Mothers gonna mother ;)

[deifire]

OMG, this is brilliant! Love Dash here!

And still cracking up about the part where Harley's not allowed out on religious holidays.

[froodle]

A frightening percentage of Eeries supposedly adult population is very eager to follow a six year old right into the apocalypse

[evilinsanemonkey]

i really forking love this

[froodle]

:D thank you!