Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Pirates

[froodle]

Written for Day 10 of the 31daysoffandom October challenge. The prompt I used today was "black"



In the world where everything was pirates, Marshall Teller was no longer the hero of this tale. In the world where everything was pirates, Marshall Teller was still smart, and brave, and loyal, and he was also a reasonably good worker as long as he hadn't been at the rum, which was an acceptable caveat in a world where everything was pirates. He still had a best friend, although in the pirate world Simon was generally considered to be the superior pirate specimen of the two, mostly due to his impressive curly red beard which he had despite still only being nine years old. Simon also commanded a great deal of pirate-respect due to his ownership of a three-headed, twelve-eyed, fire-breathing sea serpent who wore six eye-patches and had a wooden leg for no reason other than because the sea serpent, too, was a pirate.

Their pirate boat was called Boaty McBoatface, which was the second most popular name for a pirate boat after the Jolly Roger. An internet poll to decide what all the pirate boats should be called had come up with it, and in the world where everything was pirates, and the internet was the most powerful pirate of them all, internet polls were legally binding. Not that there was anyone to really enforce the law, as all the lawyers and policemen and judges and jailers were also pirates. Even the rum was pirates, which led to a great deal of pirate-on-pirate cannibalism, but as pirates had to drink rum to survive, and as everything was pirates, no cases were ever brought to trial.

But if the internet was the most powerful pirate of them all, and if Simon was the beardiest (with presumably even greater heights of beardery awaiting him once puberty struck), and if the sea serpent was the one with the greatest number of eyepatches, there was one pirate who eclipsed them all.

Her name was Black Syndi, and she was an investigative journalist pirate. Not only did this mean she could read and write, a rare feat in the world where everything was pirates, it also meant that she was all up in everyone's pirate business. Though her flag was a black banner with the skull and crossbones (as all flags were, because of course the skull and crossbones is the internationally recognized symbol for pirates) and although she did wear a lot of black (because pirates spend a great deal of time at sea with no washing machine or tumble dryer and you want something that hides all the blood and gunsmoke that comes with being a pirate), her moniker actually came from the sheer amount of blackmailing she did on a daily basis.

Entire fleets of Jolly Rogers and Boaty McBoatfaces would flee at the sight of her ship on the horizon, the vast blinking eye of her mainsail staring down her enemies in the certain knowledge that, sooner or later, Black Syndi would discover your shameful secrets and, for the low price of exactly everything you had on you right then, agree not to disclose it to the world.

Those who refused to pay suffered for their stubborn ways, as with Eerie's deposed Pirate Mayor who had thought he could get away with drinking corn whiskey hidden inside rum bottles. Black Syndi had shone the burning light of pirate truth upon his perfidy, and the Pirate Mayor had been thrown to the Pirate Sharks.

A thriving industry of pirate merchandise had sprung up around Black Syndi's legendary exploits; pirate action figures and pirate video games and even a pirate Saturday morning cartoon, broadcast from some unknown pirate radio station far out on the reaches of the pirate ocean, which was all of them.

And so, in the world where everything was pirates, Marshall Teller lived to tell the tale, but it was his big sister that he told the tale about.





Teller Family History

First Date by froodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventions

Popcorn by froodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.

The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by froodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home town

Lawn by froodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardwork

Tornado Day, Revisited by froodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado Day

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Culinary Delights by froodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accident

Camping by froodle, in which Syndi cannot sleep

Artist in the Family by froodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to Syndi

Without Due Care and Attention by froodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobile

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Brunch by froodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchen

Handmade by froodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's mother

Poor Life Choices by froodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anyway

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Visitor by froodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot

Fresh Sheets by froodle

Tradition by froodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas tree

Hometown by froodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New Jersey

Comments

[deifire]

This is so fantastic!!!

[froodle]

Thank you!

[eviinsanemonkey.livejournal.com]

this is glorious and i love it omg

[froodle]

thank you!

[lipstickcat.livejournal.com]

OMG! I LMAOed all the way through that! XD

[froodle]

I'm glad you liked it :D