Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Turnip

[froodle]

Written for Day 12 of the 31_days October challenge. Today's prompt was "did you know...?"



"Did you know that the tradition of carving jack-o-lanterns originally started in Ireland?" asked Marshall, his tone studiedly casual.

Dash didn't say anything, but his eyes narrowed behind the wadded-up tea towel pressed to his face. The towel had once been a kind of off-white, embroidered with large black and yellow flowers that occupied an unlikely half-way point between a daisy and a rose. Now it was becoming increasingly red, fading to rusty brown at the edges as the blood dried.

"It's true," Mars continued blithely, filling a second towel with ice-cubes from a huge metal mixing bowl that usually held Sparky's carefully-blended mixture of dry kibble, fresh offal, and a kind of black oil that screamed when devoured. Sparky sat near the kitchen door, two huge heads cocked to one side, and made grumbling noises with all three of his be-fanged mouths.

Marshall ignored the disgruntled Hellhound and carried on with his impromptu lecture. "Except they didn't have pumpkins back then, so they used turnips instead." He pushed the fresh towel full of ice across the kitchen table and held out a hand expectantly. Dash peeled the bloody rag away from his face, wincing as he did so. Marshall grimaced.

"It's still bleeding," he said.

Dash fingered the bridge of his nose gingerly then snatched his hand away, hissing in pain.

"I think it's broken," he said. Mars tossed the ruined dish cloth in the rough direction of the kitchen sink and flicked his head at the replacement compress. Dash pressed it hesitantly against his skin, teeth gritted against the sudden sting of cold. Sparky's great claws clacked against the chipped floor tiles as he approached the table, laying one of his three broad muzzles across Dash's lap and whimpering in sympathy. The other two licked at the fallen droplets of blood with barbed and steaming tongues.

"You shouldn't let him do that," said Mars. "You know Simon doesn't like it when we give him table scraps. Or human remains," he added as an afterthought. "He's worried about him getting all man-eaty and having to wear a muzzle in public."

Dash rubbed the spot between one set of pointed black ears. Sparky's contented rumble shook the kitchen and rattled the dishes on the draining board. Mars nudged the eight-eyed head with his toe, trying to push it away from the gore smeared across the area rug beneath the table. It was like shoving at a cliff face.

"Anyway," he went on, "So in some parts of the British Isles, they still use turnips instead of pumpkins, even though turnips are like a thousand times harder to carve."

Dash made a noise. It wasn't that different to the noise Sparky had made when he'd realised his food bowl wasn't in it's usual place.

"So what I'm saying is," said Marshall. "Maybe the next time you pick a fight with that leprechaun family up the road, you don't do it by egging their house at Halloween, because not only do they use turnips as ammo, but apparently they have a trebuchet to launch them from as well."

"Pfft," said Dash. Blood bubbled over the dish cloth and dripped from his fingers. Sparky's tail wagged in delight.





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem

Comments

[eviinsanemonkey.livejournal.com]

I love that Dash never changes

I love that Mars knows the most random shit.

I love how domestic they are and how everything is still weird af. like. sure they have a pet but he's not just any pet he's a hellhound bcuz it's eerie and mars and dash and simon

and i love your words

[froodle]

Thank you! I had loads of fun writing this one so im really glad you like it :)

I'm not sure when I became convinced that Dash and Eerie's leprechaun population were engaged in a long-running and steadily escalating feud, but now that;s just a fact as far as I'm concerned!

Ugh, the turnip thing, They're a tradition here as well, and every year the hoptnaa festival rolls around and the heritage trust is like HALLOWEEN! EVENTS FOR KIDS! TURNIP CARVING! FINE MANX TRADITION!

And im like... but turnips? Rock hard? Small children? And then I laugh because the jackolanterns are shit and I feel superior to a bunch of six year olds, because I'm a jerk.

[eviinsanemonkey.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to see a carved turnip now

[deifire]

Me, too!

[froodle]

There's an empty unit in our "shopping centre" (read - eight units over two floors, half of which are vacant) that has been set up with a halloween scene inside the dimly-lit shop, and front and centre is a GIANT carved turnip. so ugly.

[froodle]

If I hadn't accidently destroyed my kindle at the weekend, i would take some pictures of the displays around the island - so shit, but that actually makes them a lot creepier for it

[deifire]

This is awesome! I love them and this verse so much!

And this bit nearly killed me: "You know Simon doesn't like it when we give him table scraps. Or human remains," he added as an afterthought. "He's worried about him getting all man-eaty and having to wear a muzzle in public."

(And also helped put dealing with the world's most obnoxious tabby in perspective.)

[froodle]

I'm so glad you liked it!

MAn-eating hellhounds are a health concern. Simon doesnt want Hellhounds to be made into the next pitbull.

One of my friends was pensively looking out the window at the rain and her dog stood right next to her and farted. She was like, thats the rudest thing hes ever done!! and i was like, pfft, you have CLEARLY never had a cat.

[deifire]

He put his tail in my coffee.

One of the things I adore about Simon in this verse is how much patience he has with everything and everybody, which I'm trying to channel right now, but I'm seriously *thisclose* to seeing how much a used tabby will go for on eBay.

[froodle]

I'm sorry, but I laughed SO HARD at that! even though i know if that was me id have been heartbroken, its such a dick cat move.

does ebay ship tabbies to the uk? because i would take that cat! altho i am also not patient like simon and would totally start yelling.

[deifire]

If he does it again, I am so going to find out!

I love this cat a lot, but some days he is so lucky that he's cute.

[froodle]

I feel like that is the MO for all cats. I remember reading once that spiders can travel overseas by basically making a bit of silk and then riding it on the wind, and i was like THAT IS SO DISGUSTING GET OUT OF HERE FILTHY SPIDERS but if it were cats, i would have ZERO issue with flying kitties, even tho logically, at least in the UK, an airbourne cat would actually be more dangerous than the sort of spiders we get over here

[lipstickcat.livejournal.com]

LOL! I love it when you write stories like this that are entertaining and following several themes and points, like the existence of Sparky and how although different he is treated in this domesticity as grumbley Labrador, meanwhile there's Dash with an injury and Mars being both a nursemaid to Dash, and a know it all. And then at the end there's the joy of the big reveal that ties the scene together and explains how Dash fits in this particular picture ^_^

Also, I'm reading your and Deifire's thread and I'm like "PSH! Try having ferrets, then come back to me about tails dipped in drinks after you let the little fuckers have some rare indoors playtime and they dig up all your pot plants in seconds like they have magical cloning skills and scatter soil all over the curtains and carpets. Again." XD

[deifire]

LOL! I'm having enough trouble handling the cats.

[froodle]

Thank you! I always love writing about Sparky because he;s basically me fantasising about all the amazing dogs I would like to pet in the future and all the dogs I've seen and petted so far.

I love that your ferrets somehow managed to get soil on the CURTAINS. like, i get the carpet, but the curtains? thats dedication!