Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Workaday

[froodle]

The air smelled like rain, although none had yet fallen, and beneath the grey and overcast sky the glass-fronted coffee shops glowed warm and inviting behind a misty layer of condensation.

A trio of window cleaners, armed with long poles and sharp knives, were plying their dual trades across the wide windowed expanse of an office building. Simon stepped off the sidewalk and into the stream of oncoming traffic, avoiding the falling blood and bodies which mixed with the soap suds to mark a cleansing in progress.

The early-morning cars hissed by him and the resulting slipstream tugged at his hair, his clothes, and the open umbrella that was warded against the body-snatching water spooks that lived inside the raindrops and could permeate human skin. The milk trucks had been out hours ago, and in their absence Eerie’s pedestrians were safer on the roads than on a pavement overshadowed by squeegee-wielding murderers.

The brand-new clock above the City Hall Archives showed ten past eight, the long silver minute hand pointing to a ragged bloodstain that still shone faintly wet beneath a dozen layers of whitewash. Marshall and Simon’s working theory was that the blood of a time-traveller was somehow temporally displaced in a way that prevented the stain from drying or fading. Apparently it presented a problem for the Mayor’s office, ruining Chisel’s view from the window as well as attracting gargoyles and grotesques from the nearby Eerie Cemetery.

Simon wasn’t sure how he felt about that, although it was nice to see some of the more reclusive, animalistic statuary getting out and about.

The lights were on inside the Happy Brothers Veterinary and Taxidermists, although the front door was still locked. Simon let himself in through the alley entrance, switching lights on as he went. Sheila, the spectral receptionist, secretary and office manager, was already in front of her computer, the blue light of her computer screen melding with her own pale ghost-light to render her a faint outline against a black office chair.

“Morning,” she said. “The examination room’s all ready for you, and I’ll have coffee and bone broth ready by the time you’re done.”

“Thanks,” said Simon, shucking his heavy winter jacket and replacing it with a crisp white lab coat starched in glamour-resistant powders. “Is the patient-”

“In the waiting room,” said Sheila. “Shall I let her know you’re in?”

“I’ll get her,” said Simon, and opened the door to the cheerfully-decorated lobby that represented visitor’s first view of the business.

Baba Yaga sat in an uncomfortable folding chair of moulded orange plastic. Her chicken-legged hut crouched beside her, fluffing its pin feathers and clucking to itself. The child-eating witch glared at him through narrowed eyes that glowed even in the bright glare of the overhead fluorescents.

Simon smiled.

“How’s my favourite patient today?” he said, reaching out to stroke the warped wooden sidings of the witch’s house. The hut trilled appreciatively.

“Terrible,” snapped Baba Yaga. “A horrible cockatrice attacked her in the woods and now I have five basilisk eggs keeping warm on the hot plate and nowhere to make a good child stew.”

Simon held the door to the examination room wide.

“Come on through,” he said. The hut rose on scaly legs and shambled past him, Baba Yaga following in its wake.

“Speaking of children who should be made into soup, how is your horrible brother?” she asked, grinning a mossy-toothed grin.

“Still not for eating, and long past the point of being a good meal for witches,” said Simon. “He says hi, by the way, and asks if the bite mark still bothers you on rainy nights.”

Baba Yaga shook her head.

“Horrible child,” she said, her tone full of reluctant admiration. “I would put him in my cauldron in a trice, even now.” She smacked her lips at the thought. “Though I doubt even a long slow simmer could cook his wickedness out.”

“I’ll tell him you said that,” said Simon. “He’ll be pleased.”

“Revolting,” said Baba Yaga. “Now, about these baby basilisk taking up space on my stove.”

“Yes,” said Simon, donning a mirrored visor. “Let’s see what we can do about them.”





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem






Holmes Brothers

The End by froodle, in which Simon reads Harley a bedtime story

Drains by froodle, in which clowns are evil, murderous sacks of shit, and Simon is having none of it

Kaleidoscope by froodle, in which Simon has cause to regret buying cheap toys at the World o' Stuff

Sneakers by froodle, in which the latest Sky Monsters are released

Reception by froodle, in which Simon has problems with his mobile phone

Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox

The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo






Milkman Series

Milk by froodle, in which Marshall develops a completely cromulent fear of milk trucks

Reanimator by froodle, in which the Milkman returns

Multiplicity by froodle, in which Marshall must once again confront parallel realities, diverging timelines and public speaking

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot

Comments

[froodle]

:D