Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: LTI

[froodle]

Beneath the shadow of a clock tower whose golden filigree hands told a different time depending on where the observer was standing when they looked at it, a fleet of Eerie Dairy milk trucks had gathered. The assembled milkmen stood ramrod straight beside their stained and dented vehicles, their hands clasped before them, their heads bowed. George Barham, the current Grand Gold Top, stepped up to the microphone and raised his hands for a silence that already echoed loud across the crowded parking lot.

“Brothers,” he began, his rich voice heavy with emotion. “And a sister,” he amended hastily, catching the flash of Mrs. Ada Stone’s dark eye and the subtle tightening in the jaw of Ms. Gladys Davies, “Today is a sad day indeed. Today we commend one of our own to the great cheese wheel in the sky.”

There was a swell of regretful murmuring from the crowd. Barham paused a moment, allowing it to subside before he continued.

“John Van Wormer was known to many of you. For over eighty years, across a dozen timelines and more than forty realities, he faithfully served both the Dairy Delivery Corps and his larger community. Bringing milk, ice-cream and cottage cheese to the people who lived and died on his route, he became a fixture of early-morning life in many iterations of Eerie.”

He stooped to pick up the small waxed carton that sat beside his lectern.

“If you’ll look to your left, you’ll see a memorial single-serving of Jersey Gold next to your hymnal,” he said, holding it up to display the small greyscale photo of John Van Wormer beneath the stark black LOST banner. “I hope you’ll all join me in a toast to our fallen friend.”

There was a rustle as a hundred gable-topped boxes were pinched and pulled into a spout shape. The crowd drank deep and then splashed a small sacrificial measure at their feet, as had been their tradition since time immemorial.

“John was a good man. A brave man. A man who believed in the things the Eerie Dairy represents: a gleaming bottle of fresh milk on every doorstep and the timely removal of teenage boys from places they don’t belong.”

There were nods and rumblings of approving assent from the sea of red-and-white uniforms.

“Sadly, last week marked a renewal in hostilities with the Guild of Unsettling Sanitation Engineers,” Barham went on. “And in representing our interests in Timeline 1835, he lost his life.”

The mob growled, a throaty bubbling noise full of phlegm.

“Rest assured, this injustice will not go unanswered,” Barham soothed. “Discussions are already underway with the Mayor’s Office, the Eerie Chamber of Commerce, and the Eerie-Yoshizawa consortium regards reparations and retaliation.”

His audience quieted, at least enough for him to continue.

“For today, let us remember John Van Wormer as he was,” he said, carefully re-sealing the funereal milk cartoon and setting it to one side. “And not the mangled mess of meat and bone crushed between an inter-dimensional trash compactor by things that only mimic the shape of a man.”

The blood-splattered throng howled.

Barham made a discreet sign to one of the junior deliverymen waiting in the wings. The creamy white backdrop covered the stage slid aside, revealing a billboard fifty feet high. Glowing red lights declaimed the Days Since Lost Time Injury to be 1915. As the men and women of the Eerie Dairy watched, the numbers flickered, spinning backwards until it sat at zero.

The horde began to scream.





Milkman Series

Milk by froodle, in which Marshall develops a completely cromulent fear of milk trucks

Reanimator by froodle, in which the Milkman returns

Multiplicity by froodle, in which Marshall must once again confront parallel realities, diverging timelines and public speaking

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot





The Children

Eventide by froodle, in which the sun goes down, and Eerie's lost children gather

Milk by froodle, in which Marshall develops a completely cromulent fear of milk trucks

Whistle by froodle, in which Steve Konkalewski is unhappy about the way things turned out...

Three by froodle, in which Marshall and Devon discuss video games in a cemetary

Marys by froodle, in which Mary C. Carter takes on her new role

A Story About Devon Wilde by froodle. Devon Wilde walked through the Eerie Cemetery, and his feet made no sound on the gravel pathways.

Disguises by froodle, in which Marshall goes to visit Devon Wilde

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Comments

[deifire]

Nice bit of worldbuilding! And creepy!

Today we commend one of our own to the great cheese wheel in the sky...

Laughing so much at this line.

[froodle]

thank you :) i really wanted to work in a cheese wheel as the circle of life thing but i couldnt quite make it work so i went full znation instead...

[deifire]

"If anyone asks, we were nowhere near Eerie, Indiana..."

[froodle]

the milkmen know tho.the milkmen always know.

[eviinsanemonkey.livejournal.com]

oh my god! this is creepy and intriguing and omg

[froodle]

thank you :D