Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Garden Warfare

[froodle]

A hundred pink plastic flamingos lay broken and twisted on the charred and blackened sod that had once been Mr. and Mrs. Walter-Funk’s award-winning lawn. The garden gnomes posed above their fallen enemy, their painted eyes blazing with blood-lust, their beards streaked with the bright gore of the vanquished birds.

Marshall Teller knelt beside a flamingo that had been sliced cleanly in half by a set of garden shears that burned with the righteous anger of the gnome people, and also with actual fire, and wondered if a bisected and partially-melted lawn ornament would even fit in the Evidence Locker.

A little way away, Dash X used one booted foot to lever a different flamingo half-out of the muddy wallow that was previously a clear kidney-shaped pond that had housed a pair of ancient koi. (Marshall had no illusions about the fate of said koi, which were even now serving as the main course of a Gnomish victory feast in the stygian depths beneath Mr. Walter-Funk’s garden shed.) Dash slid a matte black trash bag over the flamingo, which was covered in sooty blisters from the flames that it’s last desperate plunge beneath the waves had failed to extinguish.

“I’ll give you this, Teller,” he said, tying the neck of the heavy-duty bin liner. “When you asked me to show up to watch them taping the Eerie episode of Homes and Gardens, this is not how I thought it would go.”

“Really?” said Marshall, surprised. “This is exactly what I thought would happen. Why else did you think I said wear fire-proof underwear?”





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem

Comments

[evilinsanemonkey]

Marshall's motto: always expect the weird

[froodle]

It's how he's survived this long

[evilinsanemonkey]

The defence mechanism which he had honed with years of experience!

[froodle]

From sheer necessity.

[deifire]

*dies*

Everything about this is perfect!

[froodle]

:D