Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Charitable

[froodle]

The charity boutique that had sprung up in the vacant storefront on Main was awash with colour. Paper chain garlands and flowers made of bright coloured tissue hung at regular intervals from the damp-stained plasterboard ceiling. A scanty number of mannequins stood apart from one another, posed dramatically to show off the donated designer goods they had been draped in. At a long folding table pushed back against one wall, smiling volunteers in shapeless cardigans and white t-shirts emblazoned with the word CHARITY handed out complementary tea and biscuits.

"I don't like it," said Marshall, peering through the spotless plate-glass window and trying to spot his mother and sister through the crowd of civic-minded shoppers.

Simon cast an appraising eye over the decorations, the free comestibles, and the merchandise on display.

"It's not up to the level of the Unkind Ones or the Ladies," he agreed, "But you know, they don't have a monopoly on fundraising for good causes in this town, and plenty of smaller groups want to do their part too."

"I know," said Marshall. "And I wasn't expecting a fashion show where all the clothes are carnivorous plants or a ballet about the exact place to stab a dragon if you need to skin it's hide with minimal damage in order to complete a quest. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"They've never actually said what they're raising money for," said Marshall, pulling out a wad of crumpled flyers that had come with the previous day's Eerie Examiner. He smoothed one out and passed it to his most trusted associate. "See? It just says 'for charity' over and over again in a bunch of different fonts."

"Oh," said Simon, turning back to regard the pop-up shop with rapidly-growing discomfort.

"Yeah," said Marshall.

"Well, they could just be badly organised," said Simon. "Remember when that guy with the Wurlitzer came into town for a concert and none of the posters had the day or time on?"

Marshall grimaced.

"I remember," he said. "I was this close to getting a picture of the clockwork fairies that live in the bottom of the bell-tower when that thing started up and they all went rushing off to join the dancing."

"I'm glad somebody showed up," said Simon. "I felt bad for him, dragging that huge pipe organ from town to town and playing in empty bandstands."

Marshall shrugged. The downcast man in his dusty tuxedo had been interesting when there was a chance of Phantom-of-the-Opera type shenanigans, but with the reveal that he was just an ordinary guy who wasn't very good at planning, Marshall's attention had waned.

"Did you bring protection?" he asked, turning back to the matter at hand.

"No," said Simon. "I thought we were just helping your mom with the grocery shopping. I didn't even know this store was here."

Marshall handed over a slightly singed lace doily. Simon looked up at him, his face full of questions.

"Remember at the Eerie Swap Meet when Mrs. Walter-Funk cast a glamour on those ugly china shepherdesses to make people want to buy them and an angry figurine-hunting mob tried to burn down Mary C. Carter's house to get at her aunt's collection?"

Simon nodded, and shuddered. He'd almost been trampled by enraged townsfolk screaming for the blood of Ma Ingalls, and he was pretty sure it had spoiled open-air markets for him for the foreseeable future. A psychic he'd consulted on the matter had agreed, and suggested therapy.

"Well, if you find any cursed tchotchkes, put that underneath it and it nullifies the effects."

Marshall took a doily of his own from his jacket pocket and shook it out, his expression thoughtful.

"You know, my grandma has a whole bunch of these things back in New Jersey," he said. "I wonder how many of them are about shielding the world from a cursed object instead of protecting the finish on an end-table or something."

"Probably all of them," said Simon, who had met Marshall's grandmother before. In his experience, no old lady carried that much sea-glass in her purse unless she was planning to tangle with a Deep One and win.

Marshall made a non-committal noise. While he could countenance Bigfoot, aliens, alternate realities where their lives were scripted entertainment broadcast to the masses, sentient weather systems, and that one universe where everyone was Canadian, the image of his grandmother tackling the forces of weirdness in her thick spectacles and sensible orthopaedic sandals made his brain hurt.

"Okay," he said, squaring his shoulders and balling the ragged doily tight in his fist. "Cover me, Simon, I'm going in. You know what to do if I come back with pottery figurines or an oil painting?"

Simon nodded.

"Kill it with fire, then find a priest."

Marshall gave him an approving nod, then dived through the heavy fire doors and into the shifting mass of bargain hunters. Alone on the sidewalk, Simon watched through the window as the cardigan-clad volunteers converged.





Trusted Associates, Inc.

Halloween by froodle, in which Mars and Simon celebrate a Von Orloff-free All Hallows Eve

Surprise by froodle, in which Mars tries to make sure Simon's birthday goes a little better this year

The Glade by froodle, in which Simon and Mars visit a place that only exists on February 29th

Egg Hunt by froodle, in which Simon and Mars partake of some traditional Easter activities

Boardwalk by froodle, in which Simon and Mars are swayed by radio advertising

Lady in Red by froodle, in which Simon experiments on the old-fashioned radio in the Secret Spot, and horror ensues

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Seafoam by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the seaside

A Night at the Circus by froodle, in which a carnivale comes to town, and Marshall and Simon do not enjoy themselves

Taking a Break by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall enjoy some much-needed R&R

Model Railway by froodle, in which a new business prepares to open in Eerie

Shoreline by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall investigate strange happenings on the shores of Lake Eerie

Parade by froodle, in which Mars takes issue with the Eerie Beekeepers Association's choice of mascot

Homestead by froodle, in which Marshall finally gets something useful out of shop class

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Facilities by froodle, in which the Eerie Bus Station and Supper Club has a problem with the men's toilet

Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox

Castle by froodle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie

Visitor in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Euclid by froodle, in which Marshall and Simon investigate strange events at the Eerie Cemetery

The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo





Teller Family History

First Date by froodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventions

Popcorn by froodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.

The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by froodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home town

Lawn by froodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardwork

Tornado Day, Revisited by froodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado Day

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Culinary Delights by froodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accident

Camping by froodle, in which Syndi cannot sleep

Artist in the Family by froodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to Syndi

Without Due Care and Attention by froodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobile

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Brunch by froodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchen

Handmade by froodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's mother

Poor Life Choices by froodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anyway

Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns

Visitor by froodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot

Fresh Sheets by froodle

Tradition by froodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas tree

Hometown by froodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New Jersey

Comments

[evilinsanemonkey]

ahahaha Simon and Mars vs charity events!

I love this. esp the little bits about Mars's grandma.

also it makes me think of this play I saw once where they kept talking about how all proceeds form the concession sales went to charity and it turned out that this one character had a niece named Charity...

[froodle]

in my experience community fundraisers have always had a bit of a creepy undertone to them - every one I've gone to use at least one person who was uncomfortably overzealous and loud about Cause and I'm like, dude I am already here, stop crowding me so I can go buy your cake raffle gondola knitted booties things oh my gosh!

also it makes me think of this play I saw once where they kept talking about how all proceeds form the concession sales went to charity and it turned out that this one character had a niece named Charity...

LMAO that is totally the sort of thing Dash would do, I may steal that..

[deifire]

I picture that being the name of Dash's first car or possibly one of Dash's aliases...

Love this! I was just at a late-night comic con charity thing, too, which kind of added a layer of creepiness.

[froodle]

YES. Or his padlocked and boobytrapped cash box is called Charity.

Did anyone trick you into buying a cursed doll at the charity auction?

[deifire]

I did come home with a Walter White action figure I wasn't intended to purchase and should probably watch carefully over the next few days...

[froodle]

Make sure he and the grey kitten don't start up a business together...

[deifire]

If I come home and find an RV in my parking space, I'm going to be very upset.