Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: And Introducing...

[froodle]

The fountain that occupied the exact centre of the Eerie Municipal Gardens had been freshly painted in soft buttery yellow the colour of the crust on clotted cream. The still water of the outer reflecting pool was a bright and brilliant blue, miraculously devoid of the usual fallen leaves, candy bar wrappers or eyeballs dropped by low-flying ravens that generally ended up in there.

A bumble bee, fat and furry in a suit of black and yellow pin stripes, buzzed over the limpid water. It hovered just above the surface, wings a blur of motion as it examined the azure expanse.

“Don’t do it, bee,” said Dash.

The bee vacillated, entranced by the vibrant colours in the smooth reservoir. Dash rolled his eyes, plucking a small pebble from the path at his feet and tossing it into the steady trickle from one of the smaller spouts.

The pebble disintegrated with a hiss. The startled bee traced a wide upwards curve through the air, putting as much distance between it and the enchanted water feature as possible. It circled Dash’s head three times, its wings buzzing a low hum of thanks, then disappeared over the ornamental gorse bushes.



~



“And that,” said Dash, breaking the last of the honeycomb into little pieces and stirring it into his cereal, “Is the story of how I saved one of ChimpBee’s most trusted advisors and became an honorary member of his court.”

“Wow!” said Simon. He was wearing a ChimpBee baseball cap, free when you collected the lids from ten jars of Eerie Honey.

“That never happened,” said Marshall.

“It’s true,” said Dash. “There’s gonna be a character based on me in the cartoon next season.”

“Stop it,” said Marshall.

“He’s called CrimeCatBee and he’s kind of an anti-hero type character,” said Dash, not bothering to hide his smirk. “They even gave me some production sketches to keep. Wanna see?”

“Yes,” said Simon, at the same time as Marshall said, “No.”

Dash rummaged in the heavy-duty canvas duffle at his feet, finally producing a thin blue file bound in gold thread and bearing ChimpBee’s royal seal on the front. He slid it over the plastic patio table to Simon, who unfastened the cord with trembling fingers and held his breath in reverence.

“They said they might even want me to voice him,” said Dash, scooping up a spoonful of Cheerios.

Marshall snatched up the honey-spiced breakfast bowl and threw it across the garden. A vast black and yellow cloud rose from the rhododendron bushes, buzzing angrily.

“It’s okay, guys,” said Dash, waving lazily at the outraged colony . “He’s with me.”

The swarm of Apis Inusitus subsided, humming sulkily.

“ChimpBee is stupid,” Marshall muttered.

Simon gasped. Dash grinned.





Trusted Associates, Inc.

Halloween by froodle, in which Mars and Simon celebrate a Von Orloff-free All Hallows Eve

Surprise by froodle, in which Mars tries to make sure Simon's birthday goes a little better this year

The Glade by froodle, in which Simon and Mars visit a place that only exists on February 29th

Egg Hunt by froodle, in which Simon and Mars partake of some traditional Easter activities

Boardwalk by froodle, in which Simon and Mars are swayed by radio advertising

Lady in Red by froodle, in which Simon experiments on the old-fashioned radio in the Secret Spot, and horror ensues

Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive

Seafoam by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the seaside

A Night at the Circus by froodle, in which a carnivale comes to town, and Marshall and Simon do not enjoy themselves

Taking a Break by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall enjoy some much-needed R&R

Model Railway by froodle, in which a new business prepares to open in Eerie

Shoreline by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall investigate strange happenings on the shores of Lake Eerie

Parade by froodle, in which Mars takes issue with the Eerie Beekeepers Association's choice of mascot

Homestead by froodle, in which Marshall finally gets something useful out of shop class

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer

Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Facilities by froodle, in which the Eerie Bus Station and Supper Club has a problem with the men's toilet

Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox

Castle by froodle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie

Visitor in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay

Euclid by froodle, in which Marshall and Simon investigate strange events at the Eerie Cemetery

The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem

Comments

[deifire]

Love this so much!

And really, really want to see an episode...

[froodle]

I want to see the opening sequence, complete with upbeat poppy theme song. "CHIMPBEEEEEEE! HE'S YOUR FRIEND! HE MAKES HONEY AND ALSO BE PUTS BEES IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU DIIIIIIEEEEE!"

[deifire]

I so wish I could filk!

[froodle]

Oh my God that would be amazing, man of I could carry even half a tune i would be so tempted...

[evilinsanemonkey]

ahahahahahaha

Dash xD

[froodle]

I see CrimeCatBee becoming an instant fan favourite.

[deifire]

Or Poochie...

[froodle]

You just reminded me of how much Chris Cuba's hated him and how angry he got about it and now I can't stop laughing.

[deifire]

I should listen to those again. They were hilarious! (And complete Dash loathing is absolutely the right mindset for writing this next bit.)

[froodle]

"And fuckin'... Ugh, I'm not saying his name, he's fucking Poochie from now on..."