Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Message in a Bottle

[froodle]

The thing in the jar buzzed angrily, slamming itself against the smooth glass walls of it's raspberry jam-smelling prison. Marshall reached out as the heavy-bottomed mason jar rocked with the motion, skittering closer to the edge of the formica worktop in the Teller's cluttered kitchen.

"Clever," he said, holding the jar steady with one hand while the other brought a large magnifying glass into focus on the strange creature they had caught.

Dash scoffed, not bothering to look up from the huge bowl of sugar-frosted cornflakes precariously balanced on his lap.

"Really?" he said. "A spying-type bug in the shape of an actual bug? That counts as clever where you're from?"

"Well, I'm from Jersey," said Marshall. "So yes."

"I thought it was clever," said Simon loyally.

"Thanks, Simon," said Marshall, flashing him a quick grin. Dash rolled his eyes.

"It would have been more clever to have a spy camera that doesn't buzz and fly right in the faces of people it's supposed to be secretly watching," he said.

"I wonder who sent it," Marshall mused, turning the jar slowly.

"And what they were looking for," said Simon.

"Oh, it's definitely for you, Teller," said Dash. The other two boys gave him a questioning look, and he sighed with exaggerated exasperation and pointed a cereal-dripping spoon at the jar.

"Check out the underside of the label," he said.

Marshall spun the jar, provoking an angry vibrato hum from the hollow interior. The inhabitant of the jar was perhaps five inches long from the tip of it's bulbous-eyed head to the end of it's razor-ridged stinger. It was black, and yellow, and using the thorny spike on it's tail to scratch a message into the glass in perfect mirror-written cursive.

Marshall leaned forward to read the short line of text, and cursed. Simon crowded next to him, stooping to peer into the glassy depths of the makeshift jail.

"'ChimpBee says hello'," he read aloud. "Aww, that's nice."

"That's not him being nice, Simon," Marshall scolded. "That's the bigfoot-dressed-in-a-skimpy-bee-outfit equivalent of a horses' head under the duvet."

"Could have been worse," said Dash. "Could have been a jar of honey with the lid off, and then you'd be having some difficult conversations with your folks."

Marshall flinched.

"And now I know what's worse than being threatened by the world's stupidest choice of mascot," he said. "Remind me exactly why I let you in my house again?"

"Perspective," said Dash, spilling milk on the kitchen floor and not bothering to clean it up.





Microwave-verse

Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever

Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods

Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing

Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons

Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations

Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon

Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well

Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound

Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed

The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense

The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed

Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests

Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream

Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed

Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor

In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house

Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend

Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list

Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall

Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach

Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley

Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem

Comments

[evilinsanemonkey]

always good to have perspective

this is wonderful!

[froodle]

See? Dash is 100% a helpful guy. Totally.

[deifire]

Never change, Dash. Never, ever change...

Love all of this <3

[froodle]

If he ever did decide to be nice, Mars would get so paranoid and stressed waiting for the other shoe to drop it would actually be worse than if Dash openly messed with him.

...which would be an a+ prank, now I think of it...

[deifire]

LOL! Marshall would definitely be wondering who he was and what he'd done with the real Dash...

[froodle]

And what this nefarious fakeDash is planning to do with the original...

[deifire]

The downside (for Dash, at least) is if he pulls off this prank too well, Marshall's not going to believe it when he eventually is kidnapped by a fakeDash...

[froodle]

And that is inevitably going to happen at some point, because Eerie.