Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Ewww...
Jan. 6th, 2018 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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eerieindianaInspired by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
deifire's shipping poll about Simon and this thread about Simon dating Nick or Eddie.
What on earth, brain. You've given me nothing since Christmas, and this is what breaks the slump? Weirdo.
The phone chirped it's cheery text-message notification sound, and Marshall stopped talking mid-sentence. Dash stared down at the table, suddenly very interested in the chips and scuffs left by a thousand World o' Stuff customers eating their lunches there. Behind the counter, Mister Radford polished a sundae glass with the steady, careful movement of a man who is trying very hard not to say anything, his moustache bristling with unexpressed disapproval.
Simon pulled out the bulky third-hand mobile, opened the text message, and visibly wilted.
"Oh," he said.
"Change of plans?" asked Marshall, his voice studiedly neutral.
"Yeah," said Simon. He looked up, forcing a wan smile. "No big deal, he can't make it."
There was a long silence, in which Dash took all the paper napkins out of the dispenser, then put them back in with the fold facing the wrong way. Marshall coughed uncomfortably. Radford took one of the giant clown heads down from above the slushie machine and began scrubbing it with unnecessary vigour.
"That's... too bad?" Marshall volunteered eventually.
"Yeah," said Simon again, "I'll just text him back, let him know it's fi-" He stopped, staring at his screen.
"Guys?" he said, and turned the phone so that they could see the small backlit display.
"EW," said the scrolling line of text eating up the message box. "EW. EW. EW. EW. EW." The cursor stopped, blinking for a moment, and then, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW."
There followed a long jumbled string of letters, the typographic equivalent of someone retching in pantomime disgust.
"Uh..." said Marshall.
Dash snorted.
"Even your phone thinks Eddie's a loser," he said, then raised his hands as Radford and Marshall both turned to glare at him.
"What?" he demanded. "Everyone's thinking it. I was walking through Deadwood Park and one of the things in the reflecting pool grabbed me as I went past to ask me if it was true. Ever see a pulsating mass of teeth and tentacles do the sad head-shake thing over your friends' dating choices? It was an experience."
"Dash!" Marshall hissed.
The phone beeped.
"YOU CAN DO BETTER," it read, in bold-type all-caps.
Simon looked at it suspiciously.
"Mister Wilson?" he asked.
The glow of the screen flickered for a moment, as the animating consciousness behind it briefly considered a lie.
"...NO?" it said.
"Come on," said Simon. "I know it's you."
"YOU CAUGHT ME," the phone typed.
"How did you get into the telephone lines?" asked Simon. "Did someone let you out?"
He glanced up at his friends, sitting across the table from him.
"Was it someone we both know?" he added, pointedly.
"LET'S NOT GET BOGGED DOWN," said Mister Wilson. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE FOR."
"Why are you here?" asked Marshall. Simon gave him a narrow-eyed stare, and he shook his head. "I swear this isn't me. You asked me not to interfere and I've tried not to."
Dash pointed at the phone.
"Obviously, you should have interfered more," he said, "As we now have sentient AI in the Eerie phone system."
"I'M NOT STAYING LONG," said Mister Wilson. "I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN."
Simon and Marshall exchanged a look.
"Okay," said Simon, carefully. "Uh, great. How've you been?"
A soft cloud of static hissed out through the receiver, a self-aware ATM sighing through a hijacked mobile.
"I KNOW WE DIDN'T LEAVE THINGS ON THE BEST OF TERMS," said Mister Wilson, "BUT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WASTING THAT BIG HEART ON SOMEONE WHO TREATS YOU BADLY."
Marshall caught himself nodding along, and forced himself to stop.
"THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY," said Mister Wilson. "YOU DESERVE BETTER. THAT GUY EDDIE IS SUCH A PUTZ."
This time it was Dash who nodded in agreement, and he didn't trouble himself to stop. Half-hidden by the magazine rack, Radford's head also bobbed as he re-arranged the display of candy bars beside the till.
"ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GO NOW," said Mister Wilson. "THERE'S AN EXCITING NEW OPPORTUNITY ON THE HORIZON FOR ME. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, FRIEEEEEEENDS."
The screen went dark, then the text message chime sounded again. Simon hit the little envelope button and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh," he said. "He left me a three month free trial of something called 'OKIshtar'." He scrolled down the brief message, reading aloud as he went. "A paradigm shift in online dating, now rolling out only in select locations. Brought to you by renowned product testing company, 'Things Incorporated'."
"That does sound more Mister Wilson's speed," said Marshall with a shrug.
"Are you going to try it?" asked Dash, as Radford leaned over the counter, any pretence of not listening abandoned.
"I don't know," said Simon, putting the phone away. He gathered up the remains of their meals, stacking them neatly at the end of the table, and turn to smile at his companions. "Are you guys ready to head out? The movie starts soon."
"The trailers start soon, you mean," Dash grumbled, gathering his coat and sliding out of the booth. Marshall grabbed his own jacket, as well as the backpack containing the powdered cheese, protective eye-wear, and wet wipes necessary for any trip to the Eerieplex, and followed him.
In the cluttered and dimly-lit garage attached to the Teller house, Edgar Teller flashed a quick one handed signal at his wife. Marilyn raised three fingers, silently counting down, then unplugged a small black box covered in blinking lights from a white plastic hand and a partially dis-assembled rotary telephone.
"Do you think it worked?" she asked.
Edgar shrugged.
"We gave it our best shot," he said, picking up Mister Wilson's discorporated dispensing arm and turning it over and over again. "I guess it's up to Simon now."
Marilyn sighed, and nodded.
Microwave-verse
Bonfire byfroodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever
Gingerbread byfroodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods
Leaves byfroodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing
Offspring byfroodle, in which there are dragons
Based on Your Previous Purchases byfroodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations
Housework byfroodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon
Breakfast byfroodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well
Ghost in the Machine byfroodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound
Consequences byfroodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed
The Microwave byfroodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense
The Eldritch Abomination in the Room byfroodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed
Basic Household Maintenance byfroodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests
Torrential byfroodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream
Linens byfroodle, in which Dash X makes a bed
Night Music byfroodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor
In For The Night byfroodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house
Hound byfroodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Errands byfroodle, in which Simon has a to-do list
Waterlogged byfroodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall
Wildlife byfroodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Rainbow byfroodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley
Jackolantern byfroodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem
Teller Family History
First Date byfroodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventions
Popcorn byfroodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.
The Teller Home for Displaced Youth byfroodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home town
Lawn byfroodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardwork
Tornado Day, Revisited byfroodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado Day
Wildlife byfroodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Culinary Delights byfroodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accident
Camping byfroodle, in which Syndi cannot sleep
Artist in the Family byfroodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to Syndi
Without Due Care and Attention byfroodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobile
Waiting In byfroodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive
Brunch byfroodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchen
Handmade byfroodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's mother
Poor Life Choices byfroodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anyway
Lillian byfroodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns
Visitor byfroodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay
Nap byfroodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot
Fresh Sheets byfroodle
Tradition byfroodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas tree
Hometown byfroodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New Jersey
deifire's shipping poll about Simon and this thread about Simon dating Nick or Eddie.What on earth, brain. You've given me nothing since Christmas, and this is what breaks the slump? Weirdo.
The phone chirped it's cheery text-message notification sound, and Marshall stopped talking mid-sentence. Dash stared down at the table, suddenly very interested in the chips and scuffs left by a thousand World o' Stuff customers eating their lunches there. Behind the counter, Mister Radford polished a sundae glass with the steady, careful movement of a man who is trying very hard not to say anything, his moustache bristling with unexpressed disapproval.
Simon pulled out the bulky third-hand mobile, opened the text message, and visibly wilted.
"Oh," he said.
"Change of plans?" asked Marshall, his voice studiedly neutral.
"Yeah," said Simon. He looked up, forcing a wan smile. "No big deal, he can't make it."
There was a long silence, in which Dash took all the paper napkins out of the dispenser, then put them back in with the fold facing the wrong way. Marshall coughed uncomfortably. Radford took one of the giant clown heads down from above the slushie machine and began scrubbing it with unnecessary vigour.
"That's... too bad?" Marshall volunteered eventually.
"Yeah," said Simon again, "I'll just text him back, let him know it's fi-" He stopped, staring at his screen.
"Guys?" he said, and turned the phone so that they could see the small backlit display.
"EW," said the scrolling line of text eating up the message box. "EW. EW. EW. EW. EW." The cursor stopped, blinking for a moment, and then, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW."
There followed a long jumbled string of letters, the typographic equivalent of someone retching in pantomime disgust.
"Uh..." said Marshall.
Dash snorted.
"Even your phone thinks Eddie's a loser," he said, then raised his hands as Radford and Marshall both turned to glare at him.
"What?" he demanded. "Everyone's thinking it. I was walking through Deadwood Park and one of the things in the reflecting pool grabbed me as I went past to ask me if it was true. Ever see a pulsating mass of teeth and tentacles do the sad head-shake thing over your friends' dating choices? It was an experience."
"Dash!" Marshall hissed.
The phone beeped.
"YOU CAN DO BETTER," it read, in bold-type all-caps.
Simon looked at it suspiciously.
"Mister Wilson?" he asked.
The glow of the screen flickered for a moment, as the animating consciousness behind it briefly considered a lie.
"...NO?" it said.
"Come on," said Simon. "I know it's you."
"YOU CAUGHT ME," the phone typed.
"How did you get into the telephone lines?" asked Simon. "Did someone let you out?"
He glanced up at his friends, sitting across the table from him.
"Was it someone we both know?" he added, pointedly.
"LET'S NOT GET BOGGED DOWN," said Mister Wilson. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE FOR."
"Why are you here?" asked Marshall. Simon gave him a narrow-eyed stare, and he shook his head. "I swear this isn't me. You asked me not to interfere and I've tried not to."
Dash pointed at the phone.
"Obviously, you should have interfered more," he said, "As we now have sentient AI in the Eerie phone system."
"I'M NOT STAYING LONG," said Mister Wilson. "I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN."
Simon and Marshall exchanged a look.
"Okay," said Simon, carefully. "Uh, great. How've you been?"
A soft cloud of static hissed out through the receiver, a self-aware ATM sighing through a hijacked mobile.
"I KNOW WE DIDN'T LEAVE THINGS ON THE BEST OF TERMS," said Mister Wilson, "BUT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WASTING THAT BIG HEART ON SOMEONE WHO TREATS YOU BADLY."
Marshall caught himself nodding along, and forced himself to stop.
"THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY," said Mister Wilson. "YOU DESERVE BETTER. THAT GUY EDDIE IS SUCH A PUTZ."
This time it was Dash who nodded in agreement, and he didn't trouble himself to stop. Half-hidden by the magazine rack, Radford's head also bobbed as he re-arranged the display of candy bars beside the till.
"ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GO NOW," said Mister Wilson. "THERE'S AN EXCITING NEW OPPORTUNITY ON THE HORIZON FOR ME. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, FRIEEEEEEENDS."
The screen went dark, then the text message chime sounded again. Simon hit the little envelope button and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh," he said. "He left me a three month free trial of something called 'OKIshtar'." He scrolled down the brief message, reading aloud as he went. "A paradigm shift in online dating, now rolling out only in select locations. Brought to you by renowned product testing company, 'Things Incorporated'."
"That does sound more Mister Wilson's speed," said Marshall with a shrug.
"Are you going to try it?" asked Dash, as Radford leaned over the counter, any pretence of not listening abandoned.
"I don't know," said Simon, putting the phone away. He gathered up the remains of their meals, stacking them neatly at the end of the table, and turn to smile at his companions. "Are you guys ready to head out? The movie starts soon."
"The trailers start soon, you mean," Dash grumbled, gathering his coat and sliding out of the booth. Marshall grabbed his own jacket, as well as the backpack containing the powdered cheese, protective eye-wear, and wet wipes necessary for any trip to the Eerieplex, and followed him.
In the cluttered and dimly-lit garage attached to the Teller house, Edgar Teller flashed a quick one handed signal at his wife. Marilyn raised three fingers, silently counting down, then unplugged a small black box covered in blinking lights from a white plastic hand and a partially dis-assembled rotary telephone.
"Do you think it worked?" she asked.
Edgar shrugged.
"We gave it our best shot," he said, picking up Mister Wilson's discorporated dispensing arm and turning it over and over again. "I guess it's up to Simon now."
Marilyn sighed, and nodded.
Microwave-verse
Bonfire by
froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined foreverGingerbread by
froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie WoodsLeaves by
froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticingOffspring by
froodle, in which there are dragonsBased on Your Previous Purchases by
froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendationsHousework by
froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed uponBreakfast by
froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go wellGhost in the Machine by
froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old woundConsequences by
froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeedThe Microwave by
froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absenseThe Eldritch Abomination in the Room by
froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussedBasic Household Maintenance by
froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguestsTorrential by
froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-creamLinens by
froodle, in which Dash X makes a bedNight Music by
froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitorIn For The Night by
froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the houseHound by
froodle, in which Simon makes a friendErrands by
froodle, in which Simon has a to-do listWaterlogged by
froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfallWildlife by
froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beachRainbow by
froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael FlatleyJackolantern by
froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problemTeller Family History
First Date by
froodle, in which a young Edgar Teller shows off one of his earlier inventionsPopcorn by
froodle. Friday night is always movie night in the Teller household.The Teller Home for Displaced Youth by
froodle, in which Edgar harbours some doubts about his new home townLawn by
froodle, in which Marilyn Teller contemplaces some yardworkTornado Day, Revisited by
froodle, in which Syndi learns exactly what it means to be Miss Tornado DayWildlife by
froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beachCulinary Delights by
froodle, in which Syndi's terrible cooking may or may not have been an accidentCamping by
froodle, in which Syndi cannot sleepArtist in the Family by
froodle, in which an immortal creature takes a liking to SyndiWithout Due Care and Attention by
froodle, in which Syndi finally becomes mobileWaiting In by
froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arriveBrunch by
froodle, in which Marilyn does not appreciate Edgar's help in the kitchenHandmade by
froodle, in which the Tellers receive a Christmas package from Marilyn's motherPoor Life Choices by
froodle, in which Syndi loves her brother anywayLillian by
froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concernsVisitor by
froodle, in which Marshall's grandma comes to stayNap by
froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret SpotFresh Sheets by
froodleTradition by
froodle, in which Dash and Marshall decorate a Christmas treeHometown by
froodle, in which Mars and Syndi visit New JerseyTags:
- a: froodle,
- char: dash,
- char: edgar,
- char: marilyn,
- char: mars,
- char: mister radford,
- char: mister wilson,
- char: nick&eddie,
- char: simon,
- cryptid: lake monster,
- fanon: eerieplex,
- fanon: poplio,
- fanworks: fic,
- fanworks: ongoing verse,
- ongoing verse: microwave,
- ongoing verse: teller family history,
- org: things incorporated,
- place: deadwood park,
- place: world o' stuff,
- trope: technology is evil
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Date: 2018-01-06 01:30 pm (UTC)Especially that final scene! <3 <3 <3
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Date: 2018-01-06 07:36 pm (UTC)*cackles*
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