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[personal profile] froodle
Deifire: Okay, I have to answer this question for a challenge I'm doing and I'm having a very hard time with it: F/M/K: Marshall, Simon, Dash?

Existing parameters and musings: I canonically cannot kill Simon. Simon would probably make the best spouse, except you'd have the rest of the Holmes as in-laws. Dash...is probably a good way to wake up and realize you're missing half your stuff. Marshall...kind of clueless sometimes, best in-laws, you'd be living in a scary hoarder house full of weird, but that might be a bonus.

Friend of Dorothy: marry marshall because i want marilyn to like me :-(

Deifire: Marilyn Teller: Best mom-in-law
I mean, honestly, you'd get Marilyn and Edgar as family with Simon, too

Friend of Dorothy: Do all of these things happen within the same universe? Cause like you probably can’t one night stand with Dash then marry Marshall that would b chaos

Deifire: oh god, you're right

Friend of Dorothy: And if you have a one night stand with Simon and break his heart well you don’t need to worry abt the other 2 cause Marshall and Dash will team up and kill you

Deifire: Good point. And you can't marry Simon and then kill his best friend.
So would fuck Marshall, marry Simon, kill Dash be the best of all possible scenarios?

Eviinsanemonkey: this is my favorite conversation

Deifire: It's important to consider these things carefully

Final answer (though I reserve the right to change my mind):

You get to fuck/marry/kill in one fandom. What's the fandom, and who in the fandom fits each item?

I picked Marshall, Simon, and Dash from Eerie, Indiana and
it turned out to be a harder question than I thought.

Starting assumption: Everyone's aged in the years since we saw them last, but their basic personalities haven't shifted.

So...

Marshall Teller
Pros: Brings the best in-laws. Would probably understand the need to shut oneself in a room and write. Has one hell of an imagination.
Cons: Sometimes selfish and clueless.
Other considerations: Would live in a hoarder house full of weird.

Simon Holmes
Pros: Would be Best Spouse, let's face it. Imaginative, but with more common sense than Marshall.
Cons: Rest of Holmes family as potential in-laws.
Other considerations: I canonically cannot bring myself to kill Simon.

Dash X
Pros: No in-laws. To quote BF: "Dash is probably a Wild Lay"
Cons: Fucking or marrying Dash is a great way to wake up and find half your stuff missing. (And yes, he could and likely would borrow my clothes without asking and mess them up.)
Other considerations: We still don't know what exactly Dash is. Though he does pass the Mary Callahan test for interspecies compatibility, so....

[personal profile] friendof_dorothy (because, yes, I ended up taking this one to the whole fandom) pointed out there also important character interactions to consider. Like, could you marry Simon and then kill his best friend? Or fuck Marshall and marry Dash without chaos ensuing?

Honestly, the killing part would probably have to look like an accident no matter what. Or maybe like somebody just left the planet.

Final Verdict (I think; I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow):
Fuck Marshall
Marry Simon
Kill Dash

(Sorry, Dash! You're still one of my favorites.)


BizLiz: I have decided to support this even though dash dies because of the sound logic
And I have some... Logic? of my own: who even knows if Dash can actually die
Omg WHAT IF HE'S LIKE JACK HARKNESS
What if one day he gets murdered by the weird and then just fucking wakes up?!? Omg I'm spiraling

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