Jul. 27th, 2018

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It's a full moon tonight, and that means it's time for our monthly Full Moon challenge. As usual, you can incorporate this challenge however you see fit - tell us tales of madness, shifting tides, werewolves, lunar goddesses, whether the moon landing was real or fake or simply a mass hallucination.
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It's Friday, Eerie fans, and it's a great time to look back on all the sweet fanworks you've created over the years. Why not revisit some sweet artwork, admire someone's crafting efforts or leave an appreciative comment on an uploaded video?
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BIIIIIG BAAAAAAD BEETLE BOOOORGS

what a weird fuckin show im glad other people remember it and i didnt just fever dream it

It's on Netflix and way worse then I remembered. Love the intro though
*just three typical average kids*

i dont know whats worse. that fox somehow remembered making that show. or that someone at netflix said hey we need that weird power ranger beetle show that had a haunted mansion full of monsters for some reason??

Prime Video has like all of the Batman Animated, Eerie Indiana are on there but Gargoyles are another story.

im glad someone has them at least. its just funny that of all the old shows theyd decide to pay for beetleborgs.
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Of all the things I've ever written into an Eerie fic, mayonnaise-flavored ice cream was not one that I was ever hoping to learn now actually exists.

Maybe Harley Holmes would feel differently.
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The creators of "Eerie, Indiana", Jose Rivera and Karl Schaefer, have made no attempt to hide the fact they are into conspiracy theories and cover-ups, and now they confront one head-on: the Illuminati. Only, of course we're not dealing with it on a global scale, but rather a scaled down version as it pertains to Eerie, and Marshall Teller specifically.

In this one, his father has joined a weird, secretive society that is all geared toward...well...corn. They wear corn-shaped hats on their heads, pass around popcorn, have a leader referred to as a “kernel”, and sing a song called “Hail to Thee O' Ears of Splendor”. Since Edgar is a new member, he is being “initiated” into the group, which involves being whisked away to a secret room, to do God knows what. Well, Marshall, who is viewing all this from the window of the building (why would such a secretive group use a first-floor building with a wide variety of windows?) desperately wants to get in...until they are confronted by someone who doesn't take kindly to their snooping!

Oh wait, that's just Dash-X, who once again randomly shows up simply to move the plot along. He just started his job as a waiter in the Loyal Corn building, and is going to have the kids removed, until they bribe him to let them in. Always game to fatten his wallet, Dash agrees, sneaking them in through a window. That's when they discover that the bartender, an old man who also functions as Dash's supervisor, is in every single lodge picture dating back to 1915...and he looks exactly the same in all of them! Clearly, there's more going on here than meets the eye...

Conveniently, all the members leave the lodge, heading to Edgar's house to grab a “part” necessary for an unspecified project, which leaves the lodge unattended...except for Dash, Simon, and Marshall, that is! The trio find a large color-changing crystal hidden away (“This looks like one of those hokey, new-age crystal things. My sister has one almost that big. She thinks it'll get her a boyfriend,” Marshall explains), and link it to an open slot on a machine that oversees a massive television screen. As Simon and the crew find out the hard way, that crystal can open a portal (via the TV) to other planets, and before we know it, Simon is stuck freezing on Mars!

The secret lies in Edgar, who is working on a universal remote of sorts that will allow people to come and go freely from inside the television monitor (or something like that). Meanwhile, his wife Marilyn is getting fed up with all this “corn” business, and threatens to prevent him from completing work on the weird device. But if he never finishes the remote, then Simon will be doomed to spend the rest of his life on a foreign planet! That can't happen, can it?

As it turns out, and spoilers be here ahead, the bartender is an alien being, after all. But he is not here to destroy our planet, but merely to explore it. The episode ends with him being summoned back to his home planet. Dash wants to go with him (as they creepily share the same “Dash-X” symbols on their hands), but is told that the answers to all of his questions—namely who he is and where he came from—lies in Eerie. These are, sadly, things that the series never found the time to answer, and honestly, questions that were never all that convincing to begin with. (Why do we care, considering this is a character that just popped up randomly, and with no warning?)

This is an okay episode, teeming with mysteries, but with an ending that feels way too standard for a sci-fi themed episode. Actually, the whole thing just feels standard, with a rather lackluster story, and an unconvincing “race against time” to save Simon. Once again, Edgar and Marilyn, who witness all of the bizarre events inside the lodge (including Simon being rescued from Mars, and the old bartender returning to his home planet) forget everything by morning, on account of them wearing the corn hats, which control their thoughts. I know that's the point of the show—that only Marshall and Simon are attuned to what's going on, while the brainwashed adults are completely oblivious to the weirdness—but it gets frustrating that the show teases us by including Marshall's family in on the bizarre happenings, only to just have them “forget”. I use this phrase often, but the show feels too smart to resort to these kinds of lame tactics usually reserved for lesser kids' shows.

This one started off with some promise—the introductory scenes in the corn lodge are appropriately weird and clearly hint that something isn't right—but the otherwise conventional handling of the material makes this feel like “Twilight Zone Light”. That might be up the alley of some, but to me, the show was always at its best when it was subverting, rather than catering to, the needs and wants of its target demographic. It was a show that, on its surface, was geared toward children, but deep inside, seemed to want to be accepted by adults even more. “The Loyal Order of the Corn” just feels like the show was on autopilot at this point, and while it's not a terrible episode, it's a far cry from the flashes of brilliance this show always liked to tease us with.

EPISODE RATING: 5/10
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Nominato re del raccolto Marshall dovra’ passare una notte in una foresta per affrontare e sconfiggere il lupo mannaro come esige la tradizione ; il problema e’ che nessuno e’ riuscito mai nell`impresa…

Diretto dal responsabile del montaggio de “L`ululato” uno splendido episodio che rende omaggio ad un classico del genere ( vedi il titolo) con una trasformazione semplice ma comunque terrificante considerati i destinatari del telefilm. Tra gli attori torna John Astin nel ruolo del commerciante-trafifcone Radford.

Read more... )
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SLPT: Freeze your children so they don’t spoil.

EDIT: this also works for uncooked children.


buttchugging_soylent: Jesus Christ that's fucking horrible. Don't you know they'll get freezer burn? Just keep them in the fridge and then thoroughly microwave them prior to serving.

misirlou22: Isn't that what the vacuum sealer is for? Kid Saver

Vaux1916: I just spoke to marketing and they suggested a minor change: "Kid Savor".

kngadwhmy: The "KidSaver" really is a good investment.

misirlou22: The internet never disappoints

kngadwhmy: In case anyone gets here and is wondering, this is from a weird ass show in the early 90's called "Eerie ,Indiana".
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There are so many streaming options available these days, and so many conflicting recommendations, that it’s hard to see through all the crap you could be watching. Each Friday, The Verge’s Cut the Crap column simplifies the choice by sorting through the overwhelming multitude of movies and TV shows on subscription services, and recommending a single perfect thing to watch this weekend.

WHAT TO WATCH

“Sarah,” a third-season episode of the supernatural drama Haven. Based loosely on the Stephen King novel The Colorado Kid, the series stars Emily Rose as Audrey Parker, an outsider to the Maine island community of Haven, who has the ability to recognize the dangerous anomalies that the more acclimated locals no longer notice. In “Sarah,” Audrey spots subtle changes to her reality, which alerts her to a crisis back in 1955, where her policeman colleague Nathan Wuornos (Lucas Bryant) and her friend Duke Crocker (Eric Balfour) have just been mystically transported by an elderly Haven resident. The episode cuts back and forth between the past, where Nathan and Duke are trying to find this man’s younger self, and to fix what they’ve inadvertently broken, and the present, where Audrey races to ascertain the meaning of the altered timeline, and to bring the boys back home.

WHY WATCH NOW?

Because the first three episodes of Hulu’s new series Castle Rock debuted this week. (Future episodes of the 10-part first season will post every Wednesday.)

Unlike other Stephen King TV adaptations (such as The Dead Zone, or Under the Dome), Castle Rock isn’t based on any particular pre-existing novel or short story. Instead, it’s set in the same cursed Maine town that King has returned to repeatedly in books like Cujo, The Dark Half, and Needful Things. André Holland stars as Henry Deaver, an attorney drawn back to the hometown he once eagerly fled, after locals began spreading rumors that he killed his adoptive father.

While Henry investigates a strange incident at the nearby Shawshank State Penitentiary, he also renews his acquaintance with his former neighbor Molly Strand (Melanie Lynskey), a struggling real-estate agent who relies on illegal narcotics to dampen her psychic abilities. Produced by J.J. Abrams, and created by Manhattan writers Sam Shaw and Dustin Thomason, Castle Rock makes passing references to characters and events in King’s stories, but spins an entirely new narrative.

The show starts getting good around episode three, once it cuts back on the direct King swipes and becomes more like a wholly original novel, exploring some of the author’s usual thematic concerns and character types. Similarly, Haven improves the more it diverges from The Colorado Kid. The book is a slim, digressive mystery, in which veteran journalists swap anecdotes about the bizarre case of a corpse that had no business turning up in their town. The TV show periodically returns to this same mysterious dead man, but uses him primarily as a way to explore the secrets of Audrey Parker, as she gradually discovers she has a connection to Haven that may stretch back to before she was born.

“Sarah” deals a little with Audrey’s hazy past. The title character is a nurse in 1955 who looks like Audrey, and who could help her find answers to questions about her family, and about her reasons for being drawn to Haven. Mostly though, this episode spins off from one of the series’ core ideas: that Haven’s citizens are plagued by a condition called “the Troubles” which causes freaky things to happen in their vicinity (such as people nearby being whisked back in time). “Sarah” is beholden to the “tall tale” aspect of King’s work, and his fascination with American folklore.

WHO IT’S FOR

Fans of lighter-toned “strange small town” shows, like Eerie, Indiana or Picket Fences.

To answer the most pressing question: No, viewers don’t need to be fully caught up on Haven to understand what’s happening in “Sarah.” The show has ongoing storylines, but its basic structure is episodic, with the characters dealing with a fresh oddity every hour. When Nathan and Duke arrive in 1955, they encounter people whose names and situations will undeniably have more resonance to viewers who’ve watched the previous 30-plus episodes. But the primary plot is introduced and wrapped up between the opening and closing credits.

HAVEN HAS WRITERS AND ELEMENTS IN COMMON WITH FRINGE

The first season of Haven was a little rocky, but by season 3, the writing staff had figured out the show’s proper tone, which was generally closer to a playful “monster of the week” X-Files episode than something as dark and mind-bending as Twin Peaks. “Sarah” is credited to co-writers Nora and Lilla Zuckerman, who also worked on Fringe, and it has a sense of puckishness and genuine awe in common with that science fiction TV classic. It also serves a little like a prequel to some aspects of Haven, digging back into the town’s history.

Unlike Castle Rock, Haven’s “Sarah” doesn’t have much of a Stephen King feel. But in its own breezy way, the episode does internalize a lot of King’s fatalism. As Nathan and Duke wander around the Haven of old, they encounter younger versions of their own family members, and create little time-loops, wherein the objects and notions passed down to them by their ancestors get passed right back. The characters end up casting the very shadows they’re trying to escape.

WHERE TO SEE IT

Netflix. All five Haven seasons are available on the service. For another good standalone “alternate history” episode, try season 4’s “The Trouble with Troubles.”

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