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Simon took a step back, surveying the display of cleaning products that stretched from the floor of the World o' Stuff all the way to the ceiling. Brightly-coloured warning labels blared dire messages alongside black and white diagrams of corroding flesh and melting eyes.

"Looking for something in particular?" asked Radford, appearing from within the dark places where stock ran out and the shelves lay bare.

Simon shot him a grateful smile.

"What do you use for hair spiders?" he asked.

Radford pondered.

"Diatomaceous earth will dehydrate most species," he said. "Hairy or otherwise."

"Hair spiders," said Simon. "You know, the stringy clumps of wet hair that clog up the plughole in the shower?"

"Oh," said Radford. "Those. They aren't spiders. They're drain vermin."

He pulled down a fluorescent orange bottle and examined it.

"This should do it," he said. "Grease blockages, hair clots, evil clowns..."

"Perfect," said Simon.

Read more... )


Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

Read more... )
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One of the biggest things that us horror fans remember from the 90s, especially those who grew up in the decade, was Eerie Indiana, Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Goosebumps. Personally, I wasn’t a big fan of Eerie Indiana and though I enjoyed Are You Afraid of the Dark… it didn’t hit home for me like with Goosebumps. Goosebumps debuted in 1995 and it adapted R.L. Stine’s books into a 30 minute long TV show. Fans of the books were thrilled and it was one of the things that we looked forward to every Saturday and Sunday mornings on Fox Kids. The show took off until its airtime was run out on 1998. However, the memory of a great TV show for kids will always stick with us and it’s one of those cornerstones in many of our lives.

I’ve talked about the show many times before and how it has a lot of adult situations despite its aim towards children. No, I’m not talking about those situations but rather situations like seeing a man scientist slit his wrists open to poor out green blood or seeing your naked Aunt and Uncle drape werewolf skin over their bodies. It’s a point that I love bringing up because Are You Afraid of the Dark was geared towards an older crowd of kids but Goosebumps was on right after a whole bunch of little kid shows like Space Goofs, Toonsylvania and Animaniacs. As a kid, some of the frightening imagery from the show has stuck with me. I’ll never forget how creeped out I was when I saw that horrid monster eating insects from The Girl Who Cried Monster, or that frightening tractor scene in The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight. Even to this day I can’t safely say that these episodes are kid friendly.

The one thing that I always loved about the Goosebumps series was the way they were filmed. Not necessarily the special effects or the editing but rather the lighting the cinematography of each episode. There were certain scenes that I remember that had weird filters and weird angles that enhanced each story. Close-ups were of people made them look more bloated and more surreal, swooping shots of the monsters eating bugs and sometimes the camera would get right into the way of the monster and made kids jump in fear. It was almost as if each episode was sort of experimental or directed by Terry Gilliam and David Lynch, they just has this campy dream-like presents about them.

If you want to know the magnitude of which Goosebumps had on me, my favorite color has been green since the mid 90s because in all of the Goosebumps episodes green was somehow incorporated. Whether the eerie light was green, or the bushes in the background were greener or the monster was green; green was the color of Goosebumps. Also, when I was 7-9 years old, I strategically place suits and clothes in a pile on the ground to make it look like whomever was wearing it just disappeared but left their clothes instead. I thought this was because I loved The Langoliers as a kid but it turned out that it was Goosebumps all along. I took the idea from Welcome to Dead House. The series had probably the biggest impact on me then any other TV show out there.
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The first sitcom about adolescent paranoia and depression Eerie, Indiana is certainly novel way to end the weekend; up against 60 Minutes and Life Goes On, this new series is like Life Stands Still for 30 Minutes. Eerie‘s premise is simple and alluring: Marshall Teller (Omri Katz) is a smart, skeptical teenager whose family has recently moved from New Jersey to Eerie, Ind. Bored silly by Midwestern small-town life, Marshall is soon exhilarated and shocked to discover that Eerie is, as he says each week, ”the center of weirdness for the entire universe”.

How weird? Well, Eerie is a place where crows fly around carrying human eyeballs in their beaks, where the rotund fellow in the bathrobe stooping to pick up morning paper proves to be Elvis Presley. And that’s just in the show’s opening credits. The series’ recent debut is already a near legend for its introduction of Foreverware — human-size, Tupperware-like containers that hold warm bodies in suspended animation for years; a woman down the street from Marshall was selling the stuff door-to-door.

In a subsequent episode, a neighborhood youth whom Marshall had just met discovered that the canines were planning a violent revolt against their masters (The hounds chant, ”Bite the hand that feeds us!” and ”Today, Eerie tomorrow — Indianapolis”) Eerie Indiana has been invented by producers Karl Schaefer (TV 101) and Jose Rivera seemingly to give a wholly different meaning to the phrase ”new kid in strange town.”

Katz used to play a mostly silent, wide-eye son to Larry Hagman’s J.R. on Dallas (talk about your eerie experiences). With his lank brown hair falling over his big, sensitive eyes, Katz is an ideal Eerie Everyboy. His face is hand-some yet blank; each week. Katz’s Marshall tells us different story about some odd person or event in Eerie, and when he looks into the camera to emphasize his sincerity and wonderment, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to think this crazy stuff really happened to this kid, or if he?s just making it up as goes along.

At its best, Eerie combines two pop-culture phenomena: the substantial youth market for supernatural fiction (everything from Stephen King novels to the Nightmare on Elm Street movies) plus the let’s-take these-young-people-seriously attitude that made Beverly Hills, 90210 and Doogie Howser; M.D. touchstones for teen TV audience. Eerie proceeds on the assumption that Marshall’s adventures are so imaginative, so elaborately worked out, that they give adolescent daydreaming a good name, and thus afford much comfort to teenage goof-offs all over America.

So far, however, the show’s concepts have been funnier than its scripts. There are no conventional punch lines in thus laugh track-less sitcom, and most of the jokes rate little more than a smile. You watch Eerie for the small-screen spectacle of it all — to see the way, in the show’s first few weeks, feature-film directors like Joe Dante (Gremlins) and Tim Hunter (River’s Edge) oversaw episodes that summoned up an atmosphere of absurdist suburban dread. In a bit of overstatement more hilarious than anything in their show, Schaefer and Rivera have said that what they’re doing is the TV equivalent of the so-called ”magic realism” of Latin American writers such as Gabriel García Márquez (One hundred Years of Solitude). Sure guys. If Eerie is magic realism, I’m Edmund Wilson. Right now, Eerie is more interesting than entertaining.

And like a lot of interesting comedy, Eerie is, when you stop and think about it for a minute, rooted in some sobering notions. For example, if you believe the tenets of pop psychology and hundred Geraldo/Oprah/Phil talk shows, a boy like Marshall would be, in real life, a perfect candidate for teen suicide. He’s a morose loner with an overactive fantasy life, alienated from his family and most of his peers, whit very little parental supervision. ”I’m worried about Marshall,” said his mom in the second episode, but neither she nor her husband ever does anything about this poor mope of a kid.

Eerie, Indiana certainly gets one thinking, doesn’t it? I also wonder if anyone will ever mention how eerie it is that Marshall’s cute mother (Mary Margaret Humes) and cute sister (Julie Condra) look to be the same age, and whether Marshall’s Oedipal complex is extra-eerie as result. One of the ways this series seems bound to disappoint us is inevitable failure to explore its ideal topic: a male teen’s surreal fears and fantasies about sex. Can’t do that sort of thing before 8 on Sunday nights, can you? Too bad; it could have been a riot. B
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Hello again, as THE UNSEEN HORROR reaches out from across your TV screens. Last time, we ventured across dimensions with Rod Serling and NIGHT GALLERY. Today however, we look at a very different place– a small town in the American heartland. Oh, does that not sound scary to you? Well don’t worry, because this is no ordinary town. It’s a place where Elvis is on the paper route, and Bigfoot goes through your trash. It’s a town of alien societies and dog uprisings. This is EERIE, INDIANA.

The Plot

Marshall Teller and his family have just moved to Eerie, Indiana from New Jersey. Marshall’s parents waned a quiet, safe upbringing for their children. However, Marshall quickly learns that Eerie is anything but quiet. In fact, the town is the center of weirdness for the entire planet. However, none of the residents seem to realize the oddities that surround their lives. Marshall and Simon Holmes, the only other person to note the Eerie weirdness, must collect evidence as they deal with the strangeness of the town.

The Cult of EERIE, INDIANA

EERIE, INDIANA began on NBC, with GREMLINS director Joe Dante serving as a creative consultant. The series lasted for nineteen episodes. Disney Channel then put it into syndication. However, when it aired on FOX in 1997, as part of its children’s lineup, something unexpected happened. The show gained a new audience that propelled it into cult status.

The fan reaction impressed Fox. They eventually green-lit a sequel series (EERIE, INDIANA: THE OTHER DIMENSION), but it only last one season. Nevertheless, the influence was felt by many. GRAVITY FALLS creator Alex Hirsch cites the show as an influence of his work. Critics also enjoyed the show; USA described it as ‘Stephen King meets the Simpsons’. Others praised how it mocked suburban tropes and took them to strange, absurd lengths as well. Much of that likely comes from Dante, who directed similar themes in films like THE BURBS. The full series is available on DVD and Fear.net aired the episodes daily.

EERIE, INDIANA explored many odd ideas in suburbia. This included tupperware that could halt the aging process, being stuck in the lost hour of Daylight Savings Time, and more standard horror fare like ghosts and werewolves. Since this was designed for younger audiences, these stories weren’t full of heart-pounding terror. However, they did have strong writing, a good sense of humor and the absurd, and solid performances from the cast. However, the creativity of the stories was the real selling point. The show fully understood the norms of suburbia, and how to take them to extreme lengths. Personally, I enjoy the idea of the ‘Elks Lodge’ secretly being a meeting ground for aliens.

Beyond the plots I’ve mentioned above, the show also showcased people literary becoming credit-spending zombies, a town ‘tornado day’ involving a sentient windstorm, and even breaking the fourth wall when Marshall emerges on the set of the TV show. Marshall himself was also crucial to the show, as he served as the narrator. His monologues were full of dry wit, but also filtered through the eyes of a child. It’s refreshing to hear his take on how credit works mixed with his expertise on the weirdness around him. The weirdness was another wonderfully done aspect. It gave Marshall a conspiracy to unravel. This deepened his relationship with the younger Simon, who could see things more simply then Marshall.

EERIE Residents

The casting was another bonus for the show. Marshall and Simon had enough charm and charisma to carry the show easily. Marshall’s family was also perfectly cast. The family was rarely a focal point, but their normalcy helped Marshall feel more developed and unique to the town. The show also featured a number of character actors stopping by, such as John Astin, Rene Auberjonois, Matt Frewer, Stephen Root, Jason Marsden, and Ray Walston, just to name a few. Other actors got their start here, like Nikki Cox and Tobey Maguire. Omri Katz (Marshall) even got a role in another Halloween classic, HOCUS POCUS. Ironically, his character in that film disbelieved in the supernatural.

Take A Trip to EERIE, INDIANA

EERIE, INDIANA isn’t truly terrifying in the same way NIGHT GALLERY was. However, it’s full of strong writing, an appreciation for horror and imagination, and is always fun to watch. This show functions as a gateway to the TWILIGHT ZONE and similar shows. So if you want to share your love of strangeness with your kids, or just want to have a good time in suburbia, head to EERIE, INDIANA.

And afterwards, come back next week, when we move into the realms of science fiction and atomic energy…
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