To whom it may concern

The burned out minivan crouched in the parking lot outside WERD-TV. A ram skull topped with ornate curled horns stared balefully out over the rows of parked cars, empty eye sockets glittering darkly beneath the heavy folds of a midnight-black cowl.

“Free Beer!” proclaimed the hand-lettered sign above the glowering mascot for Eerie’s most recently opened micro-brewery. “Hand-crafted in Eerie! Brewed with soul!”

A pair of rangy figures in blood-stained denim, their faces obscured behind rubber sheep-skull masks, handed out plastic cups of rich brown brew to the gaggle of eager station employees that had formed around the van.

“You have got to be kidding me,” said Dash.

“No!” said Marshall. “I’m telling you, Hooded Ram Breweries is a front for the forces of evil to harvest the unwitting souls of Eerie!”

“Yes,” said Dash. “An idiot could see that. They’re not even being subtle about it. What I mean is, do you really want to go to the effort of saving the people who couldn’t see through it, even though this has got to be the most transparent Deal with the Devil since the guy who literally had people sign in blood?”

“He’s got a point there,” said Simon.


( Read the rest of the Microwave-verse here )