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The cows had gotten into the circle of standing stones in the oldest section of the oldest field on the side of the hill where no crops ever grew and no livestock should ever graze.

Old Bessie's eyes were gone, replaced by a swirl of malevolent, rainbow-coloured bubbles. She spoke in low and panicked tones, her words garbled, and her stories spoke of madness and awful truths and the hideous and unknowable things that lurk at the corners of reality.

Farmer Chambers listened for a time, but he was no fan of weird fiction and soon called a cult deprogrammer.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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The garden had been overgrown a dozen summers ago. Now it was a wilderness of thorn-filled thickets, tall grass hiding the skeletal remains of the occasional unlucky botanist, and what was once a gazebo so overgrown with creeping greenery that it looked like a shrine to the sort of nature spirit that really, really liked plagues.

Simon stood on tip-toe, small hands resting on the wet and crumbling wood of what was once a white picket fence, and called for his brother.

"Harley! You stop making pacts with the Gods of roiling nuclear chaos right now and get out here!"

Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Syndi Teller looked down at the pamphlet the masked and robed cultist had thrust into her hands. It was printed on thick, glossy cardstock, and the arcane glyphs around the border moved and warped as she tried to make sense of them.

"No thanks," she said, handing it back. "The Church of Azathoth wouldn't be a good fit for me."

"How do you know unless you've tried it?" the cultist wheedled, and Syndi had a sudden, eye-roll inducing flashback to every whining jackass in college who'd ever pushed for a date.

"Because," she said, irritation sharpening her tone, "Azathoth is canonically the dumbest of all the Outer Gods. If you were going to start a religion, why not worship one that's at least marginally competent rather than the literal 'blind idiot'?"

The Cultist sputtered something about the indescribable glory of roiling primordial chaos, but Syndi was already moving past him, shopping basket in hand.

"Not bad," said Marshall, popping a sleeve of double-stuffed Oreos into the basket. "You handled that pretty well, although the Temple of Nyarlathotep is probably going to come knocking now."

"Isn't he the god of being a dick for no reason?" asked Syndi, scouring the cookie aisle for cult members and Reeses' Piece Brownie Bites at the same time. "Pass on that one as well, I think."

"Most of them are the gods of being a dick for no reason," said Marshall. "Seems to go along with godhood generally."

Syndi scoffed.

"Honestly, I think the Eerieplex staff worshipping a big pile of popcorn is the one that makes the most sense," she said. "Movies, snacks. It's almost relatable, if you skip the whole cosmic horror thing."

Marshall grimaced.

"Poplio had sex with a big pile of cheese once," he said. "In the theatre. It was... Lovecraftian."


Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Marshall eyed the platter of meatballs on the counter in front of him. The meatballs, each one the size of his fist and gory with a rich tomato-based sauce, eyed him back. As he stared, one of the eyes slid down the curved plane of glistening patty and landed with a splat on the paper doily beneath it.

"Did you stick plastic googly eyes all over these?" he asked.

Simon nodded.

"Harley wanted to go with a Lovecraftian theme for his birthday this year," he said. "Janet's going to save one of the specials from the Baitshop for me to collect later, so that's the tentacles taken care of. This is the 'observed by incomprehensible beings from beyond our reality' aspect."

"Simon," said Marshall, gently. "I think this might be a choking hazard."

"For you and me," said Simon, using a tea-towel to wipe flour off his bare forearms and pointing to a shiny, pinkish bitemark that ran from his wrist to his elbow. "Not for Harley, though."

Marshall looked at it for a long moment, considering.

"Is it me, or does he have more teeth than last time?" he asked.

"He does," said Simon. "And still growing new ones."

Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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What would your feelings be, seriously, if your cat or your dog began to talk to you, and to dispute with you in human accents? You would be overwhelmed with horror. I am sure of it. And if the roses in your garden sang a weird song, you would go mad. And suppose the stones in the road began to swell and grow before your eyes, and if the pebble that you noticed at night had shot out stony blossoms in the morning?” There is something profoundly ‘unnatural’ about Sin, about Evil.”

from “The White People,” by Arthur Machen


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On any journey, there are glimpses of other locales, of alternate routes, these tempting you from your chosen path in spite of the knowledge that such indiscriminate journeying may become a maze with no exit. And so, a few final thoughts on those roads not taken, my hope being that these may inspire explorations by fellow travelers.

First, although I had initiated my study of the weird landscape based on motifs suggested by Machen’s “The White People,” I was surprised at some unanticipated mechanisms by which the world could be weirded. Of particular note are strange seemingly‐impossible mirrorings, best described by Einstein’s phrase “spooky action at a distance.” This refers to the concept that objects, even though far apart in space, perhaps a universe apart, can still affect each other through quantum entanglement. The crystallization of earth in Ballard’s The Crystal World is apparently due to some process occurring in the Andromeda spiral. Area X in VanderMeer’s Southern Reach Trilogy exhibits qualities that suggest a similar mechanism behind its manifestation. William Hope Hodgson recognized the disconcerting effect of having a gargantuan mirroring of his protagonist’s house across space and time in The House on the Borderland, doing so long before physicists proffered a possible mechanism by which this could occur.

Second, although the tropes of the haunted house story have become so engrained as to be clichéd, many of the best harken back to the precepts outlined by Machen for how the landscape can reveal evil. Here, the landscape is the house itself, setting it off from the healthy world outside its walls. The morbid history of the house, its unquiet ghosts, are poisonings out of time, ready to infect and destroy those who take up residence within. In stories as varied and potent as Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, Mark Danielewski’s House of Leaves, and Kelly Link’s “The Specialist’s Hat,” we find strange geometries, discontinuities between the expected and the actual structure, an increasingly confused sense of place, of time, one that grows ever more disconcerting as the tale progresses…

But, third, why halt with a single house, for what is a house but one element in a town or a city? Machen’s thoughts on the weird landscape were focused on how the natural world, its flora and fauna, was rendered unnatural so as to reveal evil. But this has only a minimal relationship to human distortions of the natural, the aberrant constructs we call houses and, in their aggregate, towns and cities. What about the urban weird? Locales that come to mind are Lovecraft’s Arkham as well as Samuel R. Delany’s Bellona from Dhalgren. Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegon, Neil Gaiman’s London Below, and Brigadoon might also fit the bill. As might television’s Twin Peaks, Washington and Eerie, Indiana.

Fourth, and lastly — to all those who followed this journey and who now, setting aside any warnings about inherent dangers, equipped with nothing but curiosity and a knapsack glutted with books, following their own whims and predilections, to all those who now embark on their own explorations of the weird landscape — Bon voyage!
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