To whom it may concern

The time canoe had discovered the car's ability to take on human form, and now it was jealous and refusing to work. Marshall Teller, his socks both damp and temporally displaced due to an overflowing time stream that was somehow leaking out from under the shower tray, took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"Nobody's saying you can't be a person," he said, stepping backwards to avoid a spreading puddle of soda whose brand name was unknown to anyone born before 2047. "If you want, after this we can go to the Eerie Mall and do all kinds of cool people things. But for there to be an 'after', there needs to first of all be a right now, and right now our kitchen sink is overflowing with the space-time continuum and the contents of the laundry hamper is being used to soak up misplaced probabilities, and-"

He realised he was shouting and lowered his voice.

"And so right now what I really, really need is a time canoe, a linear paddle, and for you to let me tie this dino-proof twine around your centreline."

The time canoe flickered, sulkily, as it phased back into reality.

"Thank you."

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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That Cortaro Walmart is like if Eerie Indiana became a supercentre

— novaflight (@novaflight) October 17, 2020

It's the 14th of the month, and that's the date we put aside to think about all those amazing minor characters, places, organisations and general backdrop that make Eerie so compellingly watchable.

This month's theme is:

EERIE MALL

It's Tuesday, so today you get a choice between two prompts. Pick one, combine both, pit them against each other - on Tuesday, you choose!

This week, your options are:

Eerie Mall versus Eerie Woods

They were four layers down in the labyrinthine twists of the Eerie Mall's unending sub-basements, and the Christmas decorations were on the move.

Marshall Teller pressed himself close to the rough breezeblock wall, watching as a gigantic inflatable Santa dragged itself past on wheezing, punctured hands.

"This is stupid," whispered Dash. "It's the middle of April, even the mall doesn't start setting up this early."

A nickering trio of wicker reindeer clattered by, fairy lights trailing from their hollow centres and dragging behind them like twinkling ropes of viscera.

Somewhere out in the darkness, someone was singing Jingle Bells again.


Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Christmas

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"Anyway," said Simon, after Manual's not-entirely-unwelcome roasting of his parents had come to an end. "If you want us to help find him, we should talk about our pricing structure."

He pulled a glossy tri-fold leaflet out of a half-empty plastic display case at the edge of the desk and laid it, open, on the table in front of him.

"Because it's in the mall, we'll need you to pay a soda fountain premium, along with food court allowances and an additional fee for anti-brainwashing and de-zombification protection."

He glanced at Manuel.

"And it's gotta be money. No gift cards."

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Simon unfurled the crumped paper, pressing it flat against his desk. A child-sized mannequin dressed in a bright blue t-shirt and yellow swim shorts grappled awkwardly with an enormous beach ball. A mannequin shaped like a dog pawed the air above him, beige plastic tongue hanging out of a beige plastic mouth.

"Oh," said Simon. "Your son?"

Manuel nodded, the brim of that ridiculous cowboy hat flopping back and forth. He tapped the torn page with the hand holding the steak knife, the blade scraping cheap ink from cheaper paper.

"You might want to untape that before you see him."

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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The Eerie Mall was almost empty, shutters drawn over darkened units, carts shrouded in thick layers of plastic. Marshall's footsteps squeaked against floors that had been polished weeks ago, and never given enough traffic to lose their shine.

Mannequins turned blank faces to watch him as he passed, plastic hands clenching into plastic fists that beat against the reinforced glass of their window displays. He couldn't tell if they were threatening him, pleading for help, or just desperate for the passing glance of a living shopper that they'd been denied so long.

How long could a mannequin live without people?


Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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There are body parts floating in the lake, and at this distance Janet can't tell if the mermaids have overturned another boatload of tourists, or if the mannequins down at the Eerie Mall have staged yet another ill-advised uprising. The sun is high and bright and the gold light reflecting off the waves makes it hard to see if there's blood in the water.

She checks her watch and sighs. No time to row out there and check; she needs to open. Hopefully no Eerie Mall Cops will storm the restaurant during the lunch rush, after what happened last time.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Marilyn knows it isn't Edgar, not really. A few lines of code designed to mimic character traits he thought people would respond to. A face that bears only the most superficial resemblance to a husband who is gone and never coming back.

Still, as she touches bloodied fingertips to fractured glass, she wishes she could believe.

"He'd be so proud of you," she says, and feels the truth of it deep inside her frozen core.

Mister Wilson's face twitches - calling it a glitch seems pointlessly cruel at this point - and he mumbles something that gets lost in the staticky void between worlds. She understands anyway, and laughs a choking, clotted laugh.

"Me too," she said. "I loved being a party planner. Loved my little stand at the Mall. Loved meeting all the people, even the ones who stopped by for a chat and a look-see and would never become paying clients. Always was a people person."

In the darkness, a thousand headlights gleam. The light is blinding and the thought occurs to her that Eerie could never have supported a sanitation force of this size.

She climbs to her feet and holds her head high as the Garbage Men advance.

Ongoing Verse: The Children

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Morning todays comic before breakfast is #4 of Everything.
This has turned into invasion of the body snatchers as the mall starts to manipulate most of the people in town. Its like Eerie Indiana and The Shining has had a baby and now we have Everything. Highly recommend. pic.twitter.com/VCUcJnkNj6

— Gemma Hartshorn (@jibberjabbergem) December 9, 2019

It's Tuesday, so today you get a choice between two prompts. Pick one, combine both, pit them against each other - on Tuesday, you choose!

This week, your options are:

Eerie Mall versus Eerie Pound

It's the 14th of the month, and that's the date we put aside to think about all those amazing minor characters, places, organisations and general backdrop that make Eerie so compellingly watchable.

This month's theme is:

EERIE MALL

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page. pic.twitter.com/CKiDQTmLeH

— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) June 13, 2018

Written for Day 24 of the 31_days October challenge. The prompt for this one was "last days of summer"

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( Read the rest of the Teller Family History here )

It's the 14th of the month, and that's the date we put aside to think about all those amazing minor characters, places, organisations and general backdrop that make Eerie so compellingly watchable.

This month's theme is: Eerie Mall