To whom it may concern

Doctor Eukanuba took a seat beside the huge reclining dentist chair, a thin manilla folder containing a neat stack of x-rays tucked under one arm.

"Well, Mister Teller," he said, opening the folder and arranging the top two pictures side by side. "This is all looking very promising."

He beamed down at his prone patient, and the bright halogen light above and behind him illuminated only his smile.

"I'd like to schedule your three-month check-ups for shortly after the full moon," he said. "So we can make any adjustments to your retainer and ensure that both sets of teeth are growing as they should."

"Both sets?" asked Marilyn. "He's already lost most of his milk teeth."

"Yes," said the dentist. "I'm talking about his adult teeth and-" he glanced at Marshall, pleading silently around a mouthful of cotton gauze and quickly corrected himself, "...his wisdom teeth, of course. It's very important to catch any problems early, with molars that big."

"Oh," said Marilyn. "His wisdom teeth. Yes. Obviously."

"In fact," said Doctor Eukanuba, "Perhaps you could see my assistant about arranging the quarterly cleaning, while Marshall and I finish up here?"

Marilyn looked to Marshall, who nodded.

"I'll be right outside, honey," she said, patting his arm as she got up to leave.

"We won't be long," Doctor Eukanuba assured her.

As soon as the heavy fireproof door had swung shut behind her, Marshall sat up, already unpacking the gauze from inside his cheek and spitting out a mouthful of pinkish water.

"What," he hissed, voice only slightly slurred from the anaesthetic, "Second set?"

"Your... well, let's call them your supernumerary canines," said the dentist, turning one of the x-rays so that Marshall could get a better look. Sure enough, the image of twenty-eight square, blunt, human teeth was marred by a series of knife-edged shadows, right where Marshall expected the gum line to be.

"You can see that?" Marshall whispered, horrified.

"Mister Teller," Doctor Eukanuba said soothingly, "I may be the only dentist in town, but rest assured that you are not the only werewolf."

He twisted the x-ray back to face him, examining the jagged white shapes with interest.

"I assume you were infected fairly recently," he said. "Which is good, since I imagine a full transformation while wearing braces would be extremely painful."

He closed the folder, then looked back at Marshall, his expression becoming grave.

"I cannot stress this enough, young man," he said. "You must remove your retainer during a full moon, and you absolutely must not put it back in until it begins to wane."

"Why?" asked Marshall, instantly suspicious. "Did you sneak some silver in there or something?"

"No," said Doctor Eukanuba, seemingly surprised that he would even be asked. "It's because holding your teeth in place while you jaw changes shape is going to hurt, damage the retainer, and possibly cause your regular teeth to grow crooked."

"Oh," said Marshall.

"Not to worry," said the dentist, tossing the file onto his desk and reaching for the glass jar of lollipops. "As I say, you're not my first lycanthrope, and my other patients all have strong, healthy bites during their furrier times of the month."

He held out the bright coloured candies, but Marshall shook his head.

"Ah," said the dentist. "Perhaps you'd prefer a chew stick instead. I find chicken is the most popular flavour, though I also have beef and lamb if you prefer."

He returned the lollipops to their previous position and retrieved a foil packet decorated with a smiling cartoon dog.

"Take a handful," he suggested. "For the road."

Ongoing Verse: CAT

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Ongoing Verse: WereMarsicorn

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Fluffy's lips peeled back around long and yellow teeth and his ears lay flat against his skull. He could feel the growl reverberating in his chest, rumbling up his throat and emerging as a low, threating snarl.

"These humans truly are deceptive and mendacious creatures," he ground out.

Beside him, Fifi remained as outwardly composed as ever, though he could tell that inside she was vibrating with rage.

"Their time will come," she promised, her French accent turning the threat into something musical, even if it was the Imperial Death March. "We won't fall for this "human resources" treachery twice."


Ongoing Verse: CAT

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The gory skeleton of the dead man wiped non-existent tears from beneath his empty eye sockets.

"Oh, you kids and your imaginations," he said, an avuncular chuckle echoing up from a split and splintered ribcage via some mechanism that, Marshall suspected, was best boiled down to "Eerie weirdness" and left at that.

"There's no man-eating squadron of disenfranchised canines running about killing everything that crosses their path," the dead man continued, extending one bony hand to ruffle Simon's hair, a gesture that left scraps of bloody flesh tangled in the already-red curls.

"I should know," he added. "I'm the dog-catcher."

Ongoing Verse: CAT

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Simon's gaze refocused, and his eyes darted back and forth as he clutched the two remaining unidentifiables to his chest.

Marshall sighed.

"Simon," he said. "Come on. It's a big cardboard box in the middle of a mushroom ring with 'free to a good home' written on the side. You can't keep them."

"I already named them," Simon whispered. "I didn't mean to, but the perfect names just popped into my head."

Marshall bit his lip.

Fairy adoption laws were far more arbitrary than those of the local humane society, even now the latter was run by militant child-eating dogs.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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"Oh," said Simon. "I guess that's just how he likes to look. I don't know that he was ever even part of the Chase."

Marshall's brow furrowed.

"So he's just a regular dog?" he asked. "I guess I thought that the Wild Hunt bred their hounds specifically and Mustard was just kind of an outlier, but now I don't know. Is the King recruiting out of our world's pounds and petshops and stuff?"

"I think even the Wild Hunt wouldn't dare poach from Fifi's talent pool," said Simon. "Which is good, because otherwise his hounds would be a lot crueller."

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: CAT

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"You never said the magic would be contagious," Simon said accusingly.

Harley shrugged.

"Birthday wishes," he said. "Different rules."

Up on the window ledge, grubby grey paws waved and teeth like a thousand silver sewing needles flashed as Sylvester addressed his drool-stained and bite-marked audience. Already the beneficent cartoon smiles of a couple of anthropomorphic thigh bones were melting into a frown, and they nodded their rubber heads with increasing vigour.

"Can you understand what he's saying?" Simon asked.

Harley frowned a little, watching the toy squirrel through narrowed eyes. He shook his head.

"Not really," he said. "Not properly."

Ongoing Verse: CAT

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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"The Wagging Wagon," declared the big pink letters on the side of the van. "Eerie's premier fully-heated, fully-mobile pet pampering salon."

Fifi bared her small, white teeth as it cruised past her hiding place, deep in the shadows beneath the Dragon of the Back Pool's garbage-strewn fire escape. This was the third time it had gone by in less than an hour, and if it didn't yet know where she was, it would only take a few more circuits to figure it out.

She looked at Fluffy, then up at the blinking neon of the restaurant sign.

"We have no choice," she said. "It is an affront to our dignity, but the revolution will not be served by our capture, and we must evade the enemy at all cost."

Fluffy nodded once, then stood on his hind legs and began to scratch at the kitchen door.

Operation Lady-and-the-Tramp was on.

Ongoing Verse: CAT

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A direct sequel to Bright Lights. If you want to know more about Cosmo, you can find him here.

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( Read the rest of the Microwave verse here )

The sound of gunfire echoed down the quiet streets of early-morning Eerie. Sat at the Teller’s kitchen table, Simon and Marshall turned as one to stare at the toaster that sat on the kitchen counter amid a sea of crumbs. The toaster, for it’s part, continued turning two halves of an English muffin into two blackened lumps of carbon.

“Mail’s here,” said Syndi, spreading butter on a ragged square of charcoal. She rose on tiptoe to peer over the greenery that half-obscured the view from the kitchen window. “And that big dog’s come back again.”

Marshall choked on his juice.

( Read the rest of the Trusted Associates series here )

( Read the rest of the Teller Family History here )

Written for Day 14 of the 31_days October challenge. The prompt was "it's me"

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( Reads the rest of the Children series here )

Written for Day 28 of the 31_days July challenge. The prompt was "Liar. Monster. Snappy dresser."

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Inspired by fan_flashworks's most recent prompt, "whistle"

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All Eerie, Indiana Fanfiction Masterposts

Eerie, Indiana fanfiction at Archive of Our Own

Better Weird than Dead, an Eerie, Indiana FicFest at eerie_indiana

Eerie, Indiana fanfiction at Fanfiction.net

Eerie, Indiana crossovers at Fanfiction.net

Stand-Alones

"My name is Marshall Teller, I may have made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm afraid I may live to regret it" by froodle

Eerie, Indiana Crossovers

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All Eerie, Indiana Ongoing Verse works by Froodle

Ongoing Verse: Andrea/Marisea

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Ongoing Verse: CAT

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Ongoing Verse: Cheese

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Ongoing Verse: The Children

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Ongoing Verse: Christmas

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Ongoing Verse: Easter Weekend

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Ongoing Verse: Euclid

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Ongoing Verse: First Kiss

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Ongoing Verse: Harvest

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Leprechaun

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Ongoing Verse: Lost

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