To whom it may concern

If Candy Drops was the fluffy, wide-eyed and pastel-coloured apex predator honed by evolution to lure fairytale-loving children to a doom wrapped in glitter and sparkly things, then Snooter was the platonic ideal of "ugly-cute".

It sat beside the steps that lead up to the World o' Stuff, comically long nose resting atop scaly paws, yellow-orange eyes gazing mournfully up at anyone who looked like they might empathize with an underdog. Marshall had had to rescue Officer Derek from it's enormous hinged jaws twice already.

"Stop that," he told it sternly. Snooter hooted at him, then went back to posing.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Now playing in the haunted club house! From creators
Jose Rivera, Karl Schaefer along with @joe_dante
1991's Horror Fiction tv show that I never missed Eerie, Indiana.
📺📼💀#eerieindiana #90stv #90skids #foxkids pic.twitter.com/qkapm1IIlI

— Kid Retro (@kidretro1980) July 6, 2020

Here's a random capture from #EerieIndiana [6.7553@1137s] #ZeroContextTV #NBC pic.twitter.com/JIFiZgfZSs

— No Context TV (@UKNoContextTV) June 10, 2020

We respect this trooper’s sun protection but does he have to be QUITE so sinister?? Will he turn up again, we wonder...? #eerieindiana #betterweirdthandead #whoswho pic.twitter.com/u4w26PKe44

— Return to Eerie, Indiana (@eerieindianapod) May 26, 2020

This is so 1990's. In the 80's, law enforcement were fun & friendly (think CHiPS, Police Academy) and I the 90's they became sinister and mysterious (Terminator 2, X-Files).

— Hookjaw (@thehookjaw) May 26, 2020

He ain’t no Officer Derek, that’s for sure!

— Return to Eerie, Indiana (@eerieindianapod) May 26, 2020

"So, did he find anything?" asked Dash, hearing the door close and the distinctive scrape of 'cabra claws on worn-out carpet.

Simon glared.

"Dash," he said, accusingly. "Please tell me this wasn't your idea."

Dash shrugged.

"I may have mentioned that a creature that likes to sneak around and look at things might find a police department a fun place to be," he said. "If Spy-Guy chose to do something with that information, that's nothing to do with me."

"Well, that's good," said Marshall, locking the door behind him. "Because apparently all he did was scam belly-rubs off Officer Derek."

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Marshall and Simon sat on the hard, uncomfortable benches in the small, cramped lobby of the Eerie police station. One of the overhead fluorescents was blinking, the flickering illumination accompanied by an ominous-sounding clicking noise that cut through the steadily buzzing hum of it's fellows.

After what felt like a long time, Officer Derek emerged, an unrepentant-looking Spy-Guy trotting at his feet. Simon hopped up immediately.

"Bad!" he said, addressing the green and grinning face of the chupacabra. "Very naughty Spy-Guy, infiltrating the police!"

"Oh," said Officer Derek, eyes welling up. "Oh no, he's not naughty! He's a good dog!"

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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The power had gone out overnight and all the ice-cream had melted.

That was the story Mister Radford had given to his insurance company, to the Dairy clerk that took his order for a replacement shipment, and to a teary-eyed Officer Derek, who had come in for two scoops of vanilla and found himself in the middle of a crime scene.

"Summer berry sorbet," Radford offered by way of explanation, scraping congealed lumps of bloody offal into a dustpan. "Raspberry ripple. Strawberry. You know how it is."

He scrubbed at the sticky smears already staining the floorboards.

"Definitely not murder."

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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The spirit struggled against the ecoplasmic manacles, the weak flickers of ghostlight sparking against cold iron nearly invisible in the flashing red and blue lights of a dozen Eerie PD vehicles.

In the back of a waiting ambulance, wrapped in shock blankets and sipping from paper cups of hot, sweet tea, Marshall and Simon looked on. There was a cut running the length of Simon's face and disappearing into his hairline and one of Marshall's eyes was rapidly swelling shut. Beaten and bloodied, leaning against each other in a fog of post-adrenaline-rush exhaustion, they stayed to see justice done as Sergeant Knight read out the charges.

Besides, either Bert or Ernie was driving the ambulance and Marshall was almost sure neither of them had a licence.

"Violation," continued the Sergeant in his usual affectless monotone. "Noise disturbance in a designated quiet zone after ten pm, to whit, the screaming of a man in mortal terror, for the past eight nights."

"Murder has no concept of business hours!" shrieked the ghost. "Untimely death comes when it will!"

Officer Derek dutifully wrote this down. Knight didn't seem to notice the interruption.

"Violation: unsightly display of human remains in a public area, to whit, the sidewalk directly beneath the unsecured widow's walk from which you pushed your last five victims."

"And I would have gotten away with it, too!" the ghost screamed "If it weren't for you meddling kids!"

Simon gasped. Derek actually recoiled. Sergeant Knight's face was permanently locked on "stern", but now seemed to grow even sterner.

"You're already looking at a hefty fine, son," he said. "Littering, noise complaints; don't make this worse for yourself with unauthorised Scooby Doo references."

"...what?" said the ghost.

The Sergeant gestured to Officer Derek, who beamed with anticipation of increased responsibility in the workplace and pulled out a small handbook bound in human skin that shrieked when he touched it. He flicked through the well-worn pages until he found the one he needed, then cleared his throat.

"From town by-laws enacted in 1972, Civic Code 09-13-69 states: 'anyone caught committing a criminal act shall be entitled to reference Scooby Doo only if they are, at the time of the act, a regular human being posing as some sort of supernatural entity'."

Derek closed the book and returned it to the shirt pocket of his neatly-pressed uniform. It continued to scream.

"Huh?" said the ghost.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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@OfficialLivePD Does anyone else feel like this "Eerie Indiana/Twin Peaks" episode of #LivePD needs a field appearance from @TomMorrisJr1 to lay down the LAW, old-school?

— RichieEnglish_III (@TheEggmanRichie) January 4, 2019

Hope you have your #halloweencostume sorted! If not, may I suggest #SexyCorn?

I'm doing a mum/daughter costume of Jareth the Goblin King and baby Toby 😀#Halloween #YouRemindMeOfTheBabe #Bulge pic.twitter.com/nELNqHR6WR

— Talk Spooky To Me (@TalkSpooky) October 17, 2018

This is how The Loyal Order celebrates members moving from Seedling to Knee High to Third Degree Ear #bringbackeerie #eerieindiana

— eerieindianadw (@eerieindianalj1) October 17, 2018

Team uniform for the Shuckers Bowlathon. #eerieindiana #bringbackeerie

— 👻 Spooky Rebel Scum 🏳️‍🌈 (@deifire) October 17, 2018

Also Jacob Williams has this costume

— William Arthur (@Wart_M) October 17, 2018

But like way way skimpier

— eerieindianadw (@eerieindianalj1) October 17, 2018

Okay, so which #EerieIndiana character is going with the #SexyCorn outfit this Halloween? https://t.co/oy9nxKZGia

— 👻 Spooky Rebel Scum 🏳️‍🌈 (@deifire) October 17, 2018

Officer Derek, 100%!

— eerieindianadw (@eerieindianalj1) October 17, 2018

Written for Day 19 of the 31daysoffandom challenge. The prompt I used for this was "full moon"

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( Read the rest of the Trusted Associates verse here )