To whom it may concern

It's Tuesday, so today you get a choice between two prompts. Pick one, combine both, pit them against each other - on Tuesday, you choose!

This week, your options are:

Eerie Enquirer versus Eerie Examiner

Marshall Teller watched the little red lever of the mailbox twitch back and forth, as though something inside that smooth cylindrical shape was moving, jostling against the screw that held the small plastic flag in place.

He looked at the garden, crawling with ugly brown vines that hadn't been there when he'd been here last weekend, and the flower beds, previously bare and dark and waiting for winter to end but now bursting with fat, fleshy flowers that raised goosebumps on his exposed skin.

He shuddered and stepped back, away from the property line, almost to the curb, then ran.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

( Read more... )

The Eerie Waste Processing Plant and Pizzeria was recruiting again. "Earn while you learn!" screamed glossy pamphlets that fluttered from the scarred corkboards which lined the walls of B.F. Skinner Junior High and stacked beside that day's edition of the Eerie Examiner, waiting to be inserted.

What exactly prospective child labourers would be learning went unsaid, though Marshall suspected that the connection between the worker shortage and the addition of the new Meaty Mania Deep Dish pizza to the menu might be the biggest, and last, piece of knowledge imparted to some of them.

He tossed the leaflets out, unopened.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

( Read more... )

It's the 14th of the month, and that's the date we put aside to think about all those amazing minor characters, places, organisations and general backdrop that make Eerie so compellingly watchable.

This month's theme is:

EERIE EXAMINER

Moral Panics
Mass Hysteria
Windows of Opportunity
Propaganda
Newspeak

Another day another episode of Eerie Indiana

— Khalid Omari 🇯🇲 (@whereisko) November 3, 2020

Hello to @UnrealKarl! Sending love and much overdue gratitude for casting me in one of the most memorable and fun projects of my career. And I’m not giving this back: + - pic.twitter.com/IoevVcBij1

— Mars at Home (@JasonMarsden) July 25, 2020

Does anyone remember Eerie Indiana?

— Georgina Joelle (@GeorginaJoelle) June 24, 2020

Yeah, Elvis came out of his house to pick up the papers.

— Steve Evets (@steveevets26) June 24, 2020

Yes! “Thanks paper boy” 🤣

— Georgina Joelle (@GeorginaJoelle) June 25, 2020

Nobody believes me, but this is the center of weirdness for the entire planet: Eerie, Indiana. My home, sweet home. Still don't believe me?😱😜 pic.twitter.com/oITEfcMl34

— The Retro Room 🎮🕹🎬🎥 (@TheRetroRoomRoo) June 16, 2020

Thank you very much, li'l paperboy 😂

— Jason - midlifegamergeek.com (@GeekMid) June 16, 2020

😂😂😂🙌🙌🙌 I'm gonna check out a few episodes tonight. It's almost 30 years old, curious how its going to hold up.

— The Retro Room 🎮🕹🎬🎥 (@TheRetroRoomRoo) June 16, 2020

I watched it again a few years back. Still good 😁

— Jason - midlifegamergeek.com (@GeekMid) June 16, 2020

Fuck yea. That makes me even more excited to watch it. 🙌 I went through the tales from the crypt series recently. It was a lot of fun 😂

— The Retro Room 🎮🕹🎬🎥 (@TheRetroRoomRoo) June 16, 2020

Here's an offbeat idea for a podcast - RETURN TO EERIE INDIANA dissects each episode of the cult series and interviews some of the participants, including me (I'm coming up in a week or so). It's "the center of weirdness for the whole planet"!https://t.co/8nVZulaYWV pic.twitter.com/Qg9QHLqXKb

— Joe Dante (@joe_dante) June 3, 2020

Thank you, l'il paperboy

— Tristan Carlyon (@TristanCarlyon) June 4, 2020

Watching Eerie, Indiana for the first time and this may be the eeriest thing I've seen so far. pic.twitter.com/Lb8wvd8jtl

— Jughead J'onzz (@thedorkmite) December 25, 2016

Same just started watching Eerie Indiana on DVD and shock horror!! There he is!

— Jim (@jim_lionheart) May 24, 2020

"The kids would love it," said Harley, spinning the Professor like a fuzzy red-eyed top and making the untidy piles of paper around him flutter with the motion. "Butts are inherently funny when you're a kid."

"You'd get great reviews from the Wilson Twins," Sara Sue said, reaching out to steady a stack of pages that looked ready to topple from the centrifugal force of Prof. Moth's breakdancing. "They called your last story collection 'intellectually inaccessible' because you had a character that was a cross between a bat and a bowl of pudding."

Harley nodded.

"Poor Puddious Baby," he agreed.

Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

( Read more... )

Подивився першу серію Eerie, Indiana і на тобі. pic.twitter.com/6ZwdvK7iPC

— UMANO E IMPERFETTO (@monsieur_kotek) May 7, 2020

The flagstones outside the ruined house had been swept and mopped, old leaf litter and discarded organs collected into a tidy pile at the northern-most edge of the little yard. It looked like the new occupants were planning a bonfire, or perhaps a barbeque.

Beneath the surface of the freshly-scrubbed stone, crawling, segmented things writhed. These were the dangerous words uttered by the home's previous inhabitants, roused from a long sleep by the presence of fresh blood.

A wind chime hung on the gate, tinkling in a non-existent breeze.

Marshall slid a free newspaper into their mailbox and wished them luck.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

( Read more... )

The flower beds outside the Eerie Police Station were filled with pinwheels, and all of them turned sparkling foil faces towards Marshall as he rode by. Each of them had a single eye at the centre, wet and glistening and human, and around every eye antennae protruded like lashes or stamen.

In the early hours, when dawn was just painting the sky and only milk trucks and paper boys roamed the streets, and if the breeze blew just right, the pinwheels would whisper secrets to anyone that cared to listen.

Marshall pedalled fast on those days. The pinwheels were liars.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

( Read more... )

There are cornfields in her painting that were not there the day before. Yesterday this had been a street scene in a bustling city, pedestrians and cyclists weaving their way along the cobblestones, the signs in shop windows all in French. Sara Sue can still see them there, the faintest palimpsest beneath the wash of yellow and green.

A butchers shop displaying hams and ropes of sausage is now full of ravens, and the ravens' beaks are full of eyeballs. A French poodle has become a bichon frise that bears her teeth to the surrounding humans. One of the humans is taller and hairier than the rest, and appears to be rummaging through an American-style metal trashcan.

At a small table outside a café that is no longer there, a heavy-set man in a sequined jumpsuit reads the paper. It should be La Monde. Instead, it's the Eerie Examiner.

The palette knife isn't sharp enough to pierce canvas easily, but she forces it through, dragging the dull broad blade through layers of paint she doesn't remember mixing. The dog snarls at her as she cuts, and the ravens take flight, fleeing to the safety of the edges of the picture.

Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

( Read more... )

It's Tuesday, so today you get a choice between two prompts. Pick one, combine both, pit them against each other - on Tuesday, you choose!

This week, your options are:

WERD-TV versus Eerie Examiner

Eerie, Indiana - 1991 pic.twitter.com/kCMEaFG6Aj

— Producer(By The Way)🕹📊🔜TWITCHCON (@ProducerBTW) September 22, 2019

Phenomenal show. The creativity was A+ and some of the weird shit they came up with actually came true.

— Sean P. Galvin (@SeanyDooWop) September 15, 2019

waaaay ahead of its time.
It was amazing!!

— Gregory9 #NeverAgain (@Gregory9) September 15, 2019

I seem to remember John Astin had a role in this too?

— Johnny (@JohnnyLikesThis) September 15, 2019

Loved it!!!

— Chris Patton (@chrispatton1138) September 16, 2019

If you've ever seen the Eerie Indiana tie-in books, you might have noticed the website advertised in the back pages: EerieIN.com

Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.

Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.

However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:

If you've ever seen the Eerie Indiana tie-in books, you might have noticed the website advertised in the back pages: EerieIN.com

Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.

Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.

However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:



THE RIVER WILD (Let them eat fish Part 2)

Written by: Maria C. Copyright 2000 Maria C. and eeriein.com

It has been just over a week since the opening of Eerie's new fish farm, Spliced-Gene Salmon City, and already the enterprise has run into difficulties. The farm which takes advantage of recently developed genetic engineering techniques to produce vast quantities of "Super Salmon" at low prices, is under suspicion of causing some recently noted environmental disturbances down-river from its site. What, just one week ago, seemed to have been the best thing to happen to Eerie in a long time, is now facing serious accusations.

Locals living on a calm stretch of river down from the farm have reported an unnatural phosphorescence in the water:

"The river in this part glows at night. I'm sure it never did that before. Well, not since the time Eerie had that prototype nuclear power station, anyway," remarked local resident, Mr Coles.

His wife also made her opinion on the matter known:

"It's not so much that it glows… that's kind of pretty, in a way. And so useful when I'm digging, you know, at night…"

Digging?

"Er… yes, for my, er, flowers. Yes! Flowers! That's it."

Yes, of course. Flowers. We asked her to continue:

"Like I was saying, it's not so much the fact that the water glows, I'm mothat the water glows, I'm more worried about the things you see just walking about. Like that there, can you see it?"

Yes, indeed, the creature was most visible. It's hard to miss a confused looking three-legged purple salmon wandering about on the banks of an otherwise normal-looking river.

We spoke to Mr Gower, owner of the fish farm under suspicion, who's methods disposing of all the waste materials and failed experiments involved habitually dumping them in the river. This process was approved by Eerie officials, but it is now possible that it may have caused some unforeseen environmental effects. Here is what he had to say:

"It ain't proven that its anything to do with my farm. My procedures are totally safe, and I ain't got nothing to do with it, I tell you!"

This was all Mr Gower would tell us, so the Eerie Examiner tried to speak to the mayor, Mr Chisel. Unfortunately, he was unavailable for comment.

As our readers know, it is the Eerie Examiner's prime objective to probe for the truth in any case, so we sought the counsel of a leading authority in the fields of environmental biology and genetic modification. Professor E. Gore, lately moved here from Transylvania in Eastern Europe, examined the recently present flora and fauna to be found in the river. He remarked:

"Hmmm… yes, this is indeed highly irregular. I have never seregular. I have never seen so many and varied genetic anomalies all in one place before! It's fascinating!"

When asked if he could perhaps suggest a possible cause of the observed phenomena, he explained:

"Well, what we seem to have here is some kind of primordial soup, out of which life is evolving at an incredible rate.

Scientists have never been able to recreate anything like this from scratch, although if the process was given a helping hand, say, some raw genetic material, that kind of thing, it would still be unlikely, but maybe possible. I seem to remember an electrical storm a few days ago… it is possible that may have kick-started it all."

What about the fully-formed mutations? Those strange fish/human/amphibian hybrids? We caught one and took it to Mr Gower. When asked if it looked familiar, this is what he said:

"Well, sure! That's one of mine, alright, but he didn't work out. I had to dump him with the other critters I made - but it's all legal! The Eerie Department of Health said it was OK."

So it seems the farm is fully within it's rights to dump and continue dumping all of its laboratory (in this case, Mr Gower's kitchen) waste into the river. We asked Professor E. Gore if this held any danger for the people of Eerie, Indiana.

"The creatures inhabiting the river at the moment, whether created by Mr Gower directly, or indirectly, or whether evolved from the materials available in the water, are not actually dangerous as such. The real danger is in whether they evolve further to pose a threat to human life, or if the water becomes toxic. As for the river's strange luminescence, although I couldn't identify the origin of that without further, more advanced experimentation, it does not seem to be a cause for concern. However, I will look into the whole matter in more depth and make a report available."

For the time being, the river has been announced safe and Spliced-Gene Salmon City will continue trading as normal. However, there was still the matter of the new life inhabiting the river. Luckily, in the best Eerie tradition, an elegant solution to this problem has been found. We spoke to Mr Radford, proprietor of The World O' Stuff - Eerie's answer to any conceivable consumer requirement:

"The World O' Stuff will any day now have a new section: Unusual Pets,"

He told us, pausing in the act of fishing another of the strange little animals out of the river and into a large bucket.

"Everyone's unique! And they're at a good price, too!"

We left him to his fishing net and business dreams.

Whatever the future may hold for Mr Gower and his farm, the inhabitants of Eerie, Indiana are for the time being safe from being attacked in their beds by mutated monheir beds by mutated monstrosities. Only time will tell if mother nature will seek her revenge, or if Eerie will become the economic centre of America, or if The World O' Stuff's new pet department will succeed.

Rest assured, however, that The Eerie Examiner will continue to bring you the latest news concerning this and other stories as and when they break, and that the results of Professor E. Gore's report will be fully publicised as soon as they are made available.

If you have any tales youd like Miss. C to investigate, you can contact her at the Eerie Examiner

Maria C

If you've ever seen the Eerie Indiana tie-in books, you might have noticed the website advertised in the back pages: EerieIN.com

Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.

Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.

However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:



ANNUAL RAVEN EVENT TAKES PLACE

Written by: Maria C. Copyright 2000 Maria C. and eeriein.com

Yesterday, an important event in Eerie's social calendar took place. Outside the World O' Stuff, locals gathered to watch the 56th annual Eerie Raven Show, where the bird owning citizens could display their pets in competition with each other, in order to win the prestigious Best in Show award. The judges looked for plumage (blackest and glossiest), size, most ominous croak and highest intelligence. The latter was judged by putting the ravens through a series of tests, including the ever popular eyeball retrieval task.

The Best in Show award went to Mrs Laura Sykes, for her magnificent raven, Perky. Mrs Sykes gave the Eerie Examiner the following statement after collecting her prize, the much coveted Eerie Raven Show Trophy.

"I'm just so proud of my little Perky!"

she enthused,

"I found him when he was just a little hatchling, five years ago. I brought him into my home and treated him as if he was my own. I did my best to raise him well, and knowing that all those years of training him have paid off is just fantastic! I can't tell you how happy I am!"

Although Mrs Sykes is obviously overjoyed at her and Perky's achievement, not everyone is so pleased at the outcome of this year's event. We spoke to year's event. We spoke to the 4 times champion, Mr Goodyear, who this year came runner up with his raven, Mordred.

"I can't believe it! This is the first time in five years that Mordred and I have come second! I don't agree with the judges decision - Mordred is quite obviously the better bird, anyone can see that. I think the vote was rigged. I demand the judges reconsider!"

Well, somebody's obviously taking the defeat a little hard. In any case, the judges decision is final. Here is what the chairperson of the judges panel had to say on the matter:

"I am sorry if Mr Goodyear is disappointed with the result of the Eerie Raven Show, but on this occasion it was felt that Perky deserved the prize for best in show. Mordred is a fine bird, and did in fact take the runners up prize. I'm sure that next year, Mr Goodyear will enter him again; maybe he will have better luck next time."

VICIOUS VULTURE VENTS VENOM AT VENUE

Ravens were not the only birds to have a chance of entering the show, with special categories for other carrion birds. Vulture owners came to the show in the hope of carrying off the first prize in this category. However, before any decision could be reached on the judge's part, one of the large scavenger birds broke loose and attacked a member of the crowd. In the confusion that ensued, several other vultures escaped the restraints escaped the restraints of their masters and wreaked havoc amongst the spectators and participants alike.

We spoke to Miss Trent, the owner of Vinnie - the vulture who began the chaos:

"Vinnie's usually such a gentle bird! He's just a bit excitable, that's all. He really didn't mean to cause any harm - he was just playing!"

Once the injured had been transferred to the Eerie Hospital, any errant vultures rounded up, and Miss Trent and her bird led away to explain it to the police department, the event got back under way.

MR JORDAN SPEAKS

At the end of the event, Mr Jordan, head of The Eerie Carrion Bird Society, made a short speech of thanks:

"Fellow people of Eerie; I want to thank you all for participating in this most great Eerie tradition. It has given me great pleasure in seeing that the status of the raven in this town of ours is as strong today as it has ever been, and I look forward to having the honour of attending many more Eerie Raven Shows in the future. God bless you all."

If any readers are interested in knowing more about the Eerie Carrion Bird Society, or would like any information concerning the ownership of ravens, crows, vultures, etc., details of the society will be posted outside the Eerie Chamber of Commerce along with full details of winners and runners up at this year's Eerie Raven Show.

Write Raven Show.

Written by: Maria C. Head Reporter for the Eerie Examiner

If you have any tales youd like Miss. C to investigate, you can contact her at the Eerie Examiner,

Maria C