Apr. 29th, 2020

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What have you been working on this week, Eerie fans? Now's the time to spread the word about any fannish treats you've got cooking: a line of dialogue from an upcoming fic, linework for your latest art piece, the yarn colours for a new toy. Let us know in the comments!
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April is here and the shops are full of cut-price chocolate eggs. Traditionally a time for bunnies, in Eerie they probably have the Easter Jackalope bringing their chocolate eggs. To celebrate, I'll be posting a different Jackalope-themed bit of merch every day in April.

Here's a sweet and strange jackalope by Band of Weirdos

IMG_20200202_124151.jpg
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It's the year 2020, and to mark the occasion we'll be running weekly prompts based around Just Say No Fun, the episode that introduced everyone's least favourite optometrist.

Your prompt for this week is:

AISLE SIX
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Darth_Garlic_Bread: Finding out this was on prime just made my day! Thank you!

_EVILLIVE_ It's a trip to see actors slightly older than me now as kids....there was a few cameos from people that I recognized like no shit that's freddy Rodriguez and nikki cox....I know there's more but those two I remember off the top of my head.

Captain_Roderick There was a young Toby Maguire, the voice of Panic (Disney Hercules), & I’m pretty sure the actual actor of Max Headroom is there as well as lots of people I know I recognized from countless small roles over the years. But, yea, lots of people. It was a trip.

ArugulaZ: There was an episode where a guy named "The Donald" hypnotized people with catchy TV commercials, made them buy useless crap on credit, then took their souls as collateral. I guess people should have been paying attention to Eerie Indiana, huh?

Captain_Roderick: Honestly, that was probably a direct reference to Trump. He’s been around forever being a shitty businessman. Even Sesame Street mocked him a few times over the years .

The show had quite a bit of politics in actually.

a-maizing-blue-girl: I’m thinking you are correct and we should have payed more attention. Episode 2 “The Retainer” had an Enquirer magazine with the headline “Our Next President?” And Trump’s picture. They inadvertently predicted Trump’s campaigning and win.

jeffmartin48early 80s: I had a big crush on Julie Condra because of this show and her appearances on The Wonder Years.

There was also a short lived spinoff, Eerie Indiana: The Other Dimension.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eerie,_Indiana:_The_Other_Dimension

Captain_Roderick: I never saw the other dimension. It’s also on Prime & I plan on watching it too.

You say short lived... eerie Indiana was only 19 (one season) eps itself.

jeffmartin48
early 80s
Wrong phrase. All I could think of at the time. Seems like! It lasted a little longer.

The Other Dimension only lasted 15.

I remember that that they retooled the show and added Jason Marsden as Dash X.

HollowGoob: The Other Dimension is really really bad.

Captain_Roderick: That sucks. At least now I have low expectations going in.

Funky_Sack: I think everyone had a crush on her. She was nice to look at.

JoeMafia7: I was thinking about this show on the way to work just yesterday. Thank you for the knowledge its available on prime. 🤗

jax9999: God I loved that show

PotatoFancier: Holy crap! I was thinking about this show recently too

leadweightdeadweight: This was a great show. Does anyone recall a similar show that had to do with a family that ran a lighthouse?

Captain_Roderick: I believe you are looking for “Round The Twist”.

NocturnalPatrolAlpha90: Please, TV producers, I'm begging you! Bring back these kinds of shows!
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The cold snap had left the mudsnakes drowsy and listless. This was the only reason that the construction crew who'd inadvertently unearthed their burrow had made it out relatively unscathed.

Simon eyed the gigantic Mudsnake Queen which coiled regally around a half-dozen severed limbs, and reminded himself that relative was, well, a relative term.

A paramedic wearing the smiling yellow sun insignia for Happy Brothers Ambulance and Mortuary Services joined him behind the barricade.

"We can probably reattach about half of those," he said. "Less if she keeps biting chunks out of them, though."

Simon picked up his butterfly net.


Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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The lasagne had been a success on two fronts. Firstly, it had been delicious. Secondly, it had not sprung to life and embarked upon a reign of terror, molten cheese, and tomato paste.

Tod opened the flour-smudged ring binder full of recipes, turned to the neatly-labelled "pasta" section, and added a tick to the "win" column.

The moray eels in a skin suit collected the béchamel-smeared saucer from the corner of their shared workbench and gave him a double thumbs up. One of the eels' faces was poking out of the empty eye socket.

It winked at Tod, grinning widely.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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The rain had cleared just as the clock struck five, which was always a sure sign that Wally had plans for the evening.

Marshall Teller kicked off the stiff, shiny work shoes that had spent the last eight hours pinching him mercilessly, and slid into the waiting embrace of his trusty Sky Monsters, less than a month old and already starting to look ratty.

There was a knock on the already-open office door, and Marshall turned to see his Dad poking his head through the opening.

"Ready to head home?" Edgar asked.

"Yeah," said Marshall, grabbing his coat and standing.

Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Ongoing Verse: Weather

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Sara Sue looked down at the list of requested alterations her client had sent back, and scowled. Apparently the scowl was a pretty bad one, because Realdog whimpered and even Dash flinched.

"You okay?" said Harley.

Sara Sue took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"It's that illustration job for the textbook on middle school physics. The guy wants drawings that are 'cool' and 'hip' and 'relatable'," she explained, marking scare quotes with her fingers. "Apparently that means everything from atoms to the Higgs-Bosen should be riding a skateboard."

"Change it and sign it," suggested Dash.

She grinned.


Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

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Chick Two had attracted a cult.

Simon knew which of the five cockatrice was guilty because of the statues which had started springing up around town. Two cockerel heads, wattled and proudly combed. A lizard-like frill around the thick neck, near the shoulders before it split. A long tail that curled up at the end in a jaunty wave.

A couple of cultists were hanging around on the sidewalk outside his parent's house, trying to look inconspicuous in button-down shirts and beige khakis.

It probably might have worked better if they'd not put those on over their hooded robes, though.


Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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The man from the Dragon of the Black Pool Cantonese Restaurant and the man representing Eerie's most notorious biker gang took a seat at the very back of the closed and darkened restaurant, far from the street-level windows and the prying eyes of the thing in the ornamental fish tank.

"So," said Gnomey, pulling off his dark sunglasses and replacing them with a pair of round wire-rimmed spectacles that did nothing to diminish the rumour that he was secretly Santa in disguise. "Let's take a look at these accounts, shall we? Can't recoup lost income until we know what's missing."

Ongoing Verse: Christmas

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Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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The little ornamental shrub in her backyard was bleeding.

Marilyn Teller went back into the shed and retrieved a second, thicker pair of work gloves, then took a second look.

It was definitely blood, thick and red and smelling of pennies. It oozed out from under the silver-pale bark, and there was no wound that she could see.

"Edgar!" she called, and a moment later her husband's face appeared in the open kitchen window.

His smile faded as she held up gore-streaked fingers, pointing at the bush with it's pretty pale green leaves with her free hand.

"Get the chainsaw."

Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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The flagstones outside City Hall were moving.

Once they'd formed an enormous mosaic depicting a version of the Mayor's face that was flattering well past the point of inaccuracy, although since you had to be about five stories up to see it and only Chisel had an office that high, nobody had yet commented.

Except the ravens, of course, but then they commented on everything.

Now the carefully-fitted pieces jutted against each other, grinding and tearing and cracking and oozing a pinkish watery substance that couldn't possibly be blood, because stones, after all, do not bleed.

The ravens chattered excitedly.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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"I call him Big Moo," said Farmer Chambers, patting the enormous cloud-buffalo on the muzzle.

Simon walked a slow circle around the massive animal, taking in the thick mane comprised of thousands of tightly-clustered balloons.

"He's very pretty," he said, holding out one hand for Big Moo to sniff.

"The only cloud-bison in the entire state of Indiana," the farmer declared proudly, as Big Moo licked Simon's hand with enough enthusiasm to earn a glare from Sparky. "Look at that coat. You could make balloon arches for a dozen weddings and still have some left over."

Big Moo moo'd, loudly.

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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From a distance, the music was a discordant buzzing hum that set the listener's teeth on edge. Shouts and screams occasionally rose above the droning noise of the song, and sometimes during the lull there was the sound of someone weeping.

That was what it sounded like at a distance.

Up close, the music was beautiful, a sublime melody of a million beating insect wings as the black and yellow servants of ChimpBee poked and prodded their human audience to join the dance.

The smokers lay in a tangled heap, damaged beyond repair. Of the beekeepers, there was no sign.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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The mermaids tipped in sea glass and sunken treasure and a strange, pale pink coral that never died no matter how long it was out of the water. Janet had been using it to build a sort of bower in her parent's back yard, but stopped adding to it after some neighbourhood pets went missing.

Now she gave it to Simon's little brother, who used it as currency to bribe information from those lake creatures who were not fully loyal to the King Crab. She sometimes felt guilty about stoking that particular conflict, but, well...

They should stick to dollars.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Sheila had been right about the chupacabra. Not that Marshall was surprised - aside from a single persistent blind spot regarding which things could or could not be phased through one another, Simon's assistant was right about most things.

"I can explain," said Simon, standing in front of two red-eyed, hump-spine'd dog-lizard monsters like a Jackalope Queen defending a burrow of newly-hatched kittens.

"No he can't," said Dash, not looking up from the water-stained pages of a closely written notebook he'd liberated from one of the Loyal Order of Corn's sub-sub-basement.

Marshall took the bottled goat's blood out of his bag.

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Marshall was startled to here singing coming from the Holmes's back yard. Screaming, yes. Yelling, sure. The occasional ominous Latin chanting that suggested Harley had been left unsupervised for just a little too long, absolutely.

The voice was deep, mellow, and appeared to be singing about Ratkings. Marshall hadn't known the Ratking was capable of human speech, let alone carrying a tune.

He pressed close to the grimy wall of the rundown house and eased himself around the corner, moving as quietly as possible. He saw Simon, Harley, the Ratking... and the weird old fat guy from his paper route

Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Simon spotted him lurking in the shadows and waved him over, one hand gesturing wildly while the other pressed tight against his lips in a clear exhortation against speech.

Marshall sat down in the wet grass next to his best friend, while one King crooned softly to another, the tune of Blue Suede Shoes with all the lyrics changed.

"We found out that he heals faster if you sing to him," whispered Simon. "But the song has to be about him for the magic to work."

Marshall glanced at the ugly slash over the biggest rat's throat, already scar-tissue pink.

Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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One of the old ladies from Grandma's Kitchen had made little hats and scarves for the ravens. The ravens didn't seem to mind, bobbing this way and that and trailing bright streaks of wool in their wake.

Sergeant Knight approached the park bench were she sat, surrounded by bundles of yarn and long sharp needles engraved with strange markings.

"Hello, Officer," said the Grandma, grinning a gummy grin. "Have you come to arrest me?"

The Sergeant stared impassively down at her.

"Is this a confession?" he asked.

The Grandma gestured.

"Accessory to murder!" she said.

"That's crows," he told her.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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The pencil was bright aquamarine and felt rubbery under her fingers. There was no letter or number to indicate texture or shade; only a bright pink infinity symbol that looped around the very top.

"Use as directed," the old woman hissed, grabbing Sara Sue's arm in a grip that sucked like a vacuum. The old lady's eyes were wild and staring and her pink pillbox hat sat crookedly atop thin white hair. "Last you a lifetime! Maybe longer!"

The worn-down stub of the Eerie No.2 pencil prickled against her skin, and Sara Sue recognised it for the warning it was.

Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

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