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The time canoe had discovered the car's ability to take on human form, and now it was jealous and refusing to work. Marshall Teller, his socks both damp and temporally displaced due to an overflowing time stream that was somehow leaking out from under the shower tray, took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.
"Nobody's saying you can't be a person," he said, stepping backwards to avoid a spreading puddle of soda whose brand name was unknown to anyone born before 2047. "If you want, after this we can go to the Eerie Mall and do all kinds of cool people things. But for there to be an 'after', there needs to first of all be a right now, and right now our kitchen sink is overflowing with the space-time continuum and the contents of the laundry hamper is being used to soak up misplaced probabilities, and-"
He realised he was shouting and lowered his voice.
"And so right now what I really, really need is a time canoe, a linear paddle, and for you to let me tie this dino-proof twine around your centreline."
The time canoe flickered, sulkily, as it phased back into reality.
"Thank you."
Ongoing Verse: Microwave
Preliminary sketch for a custom Sparky plush by Pixelkei
Finished Sparky plush by Pixelkei
Sparky 2 plush by Erik237
Sparky versus Manticore sketch by Kari L Korthals
The Bridge, in which there is not a troll, and Mars is very sad
Garden Warfare, in which the age-old rivalry between garden gnomes and lawn flamingoes finally boils over
Bonfire by
froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever
Lost and Found, in which the Unkind Ones honour one of their own
Chicken, in which something has made it's den in Eerie
Ruminant, in which there are witches, and also a goat
Good to Eat, in which Marshall investigates the Chickeniest Chicken Palace
Underwhelming, in which a cursed book fails to deliver
Virtual Reality, in which Things Incorporated branches out into the world of home entertainment
Mystery Box, in which Syndi helps the boys out
Numeracy, in which Marshall is not believed
Statistically Possible, in which Marshall is still not believed
Rules of War, in which there is a waterfight
Family Business, in which Marshall and Syndi help their dad out
Castle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
Budget Restraints, in which Simon and Marshall's disguises are somewhat lacklustre.
Concealment, in which there is a costume party
Party Guests, in which the costume party is attended
Targeted Marketing, in which Radford has a new advertising campaign, and Marshall has doubts
Controversial, in which Poplio's wrath is invoked
Film Festival, in which Poplio and Holly Golightly battle it out
Competing Traditions, in which there's nothing worse than an Easter weekend
Gingerbread by
froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods
Leaves by
froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing
Defacement, in which the Eerie PD investigates a terrible crime
Foreseeable, in which an Eerie parade goes exactly as usual
Obvious, in which, in Dash's opinion, some people aren't worth saving
Loss Prevention, in which the boys investigate strange goings on at the Eerie Mall
Disco, in which there are ghouls, and disco balls
Pop Culture, in which Marshall dresses for Halloween
Offspring by
froodle, in which there are dragons
Message in a Bottle, in which something is bugging Marshall
And Introducing... in which Dash X makes some powerful allies
Untouchable, in which the boys are dismayed by Eerie's fauna
Shattered Dreams, in which there are cosmic whales
Ewww... in which Simon makes poor choices
Divergent, in which Harley and Dash have a conversation
The Worst Christmas Ever, in which Marshall buys a pie from a food stall, and is very disappointed
The Off Season, in which a stakeout at Lake Eerie proves disappointing
Observations, in which there is suspicious activity on Wolf Mountain
Wildlife by
froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Dinner Conversation, in which Syndi and Marshall revive an old argument
Don't Cross the Streams, in which Dash commits the cardinal sin
Sub-Aquatic, in which there are suspicious stains in the fountain
Aesthetics/Practicalities, in which Dash and Marshall clash over outerwear
Desired Effect, in which Simon and Marshall shop for decorations
Based on Your Previous Purchases by
froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations
Community Service, in which Dash refuses to quietly do his time
Technicalities, in which Simon is both disappointed, and mad
Golf Course, in which the re-seeding does not take as well as hoped
Housework by
froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon
Division of Labour, in which the eventually-agreed-upon rota may have overlooked a few things
Misleading, in which Grungy Bill struggles with the concept of French Toast
Breakfast by
froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well
Ghost in the Machine by
froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound
Consequences by
froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed
The Microwave by
froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense
The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by
froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed
Basic Household Maintenance by
froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests
The Lift, in which Marshall is not fooled
Torrential by
froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream
Shortest Day, in which the lack of daylight takes effect
Neighbourly, in which Marshall tries to help out a person who might not even be there
Saturday Brunch, in which some eggs go awry
Upgrade?, in which the possibility of a new sofa is mooted
Linens by
froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed
Bedtime, in which Marshall brushes his teeth
Bathtub, in which there is something in the pipes
Product Testing, in which there is something distressing on the breakfast table
Multiplicity, in which there are milkmen
Hound by
froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Night Music by
froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor
Houseshare, in which Sparky learns an important life lesson regarding Manticores
Sabotage, in which Marshall also learns an important life lesson regarding Manticores
Event Appropriate, in which Simon is startled
Inherent, in which evidence is destroyed and Marshall suspects a conspiracy
Inevitable, in which the weather is spiteful and the manticore is indifferent
In For The Night by
froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house
Errands by
froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list
Dinner Theatre, in which Marshall has trouble finishing his meal
Walkies, in which Simon takes his dog for a walk
Tractable, in which Sparky's new lead does not go well
Obedience, in which Sparky misbehaves and an ancient nature god is displeased
Play Date, in which Sparky mades some friends
The Bad News List, in which Dash makes an upsetting announcement
Stable, in which there is a Night Mare
Children Are Strange, in which there is a visitor
Morning Routine, in which Marshall brews coffee
Waterlogged by
froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall
A Form You Are Comfortable With, in which Marshall has car drama
Parking Spot, in which Marshall is particular
Antiquing, in which Marshall offers a helping hand to Mary C. Carter, and she's not that into it
Arboretum, in which Simon keeps the home fires burning
Belfast Disco, in which it is St. Patrick's Day in Eerie
Bulk Buy, in which Dash's rivalry with the leprechauns quite literally spills over to a shared office space
Incendiary, in which Marshall gets the wrong end of the shillelagh
Bright Lights, in which there is glitter
Explicit Lyrics, in which Sparky is a cheeky boy
Woozy, in which Marshall isn't well
Leisurewear, in which Dash has some time off
Tempest, in which the Sea Hag makes an appearance
Rescue, in which there are jackalope kittens
Turnip, in which Marshall dispenses some interesting facts
Plausible, in which there is damage to Marshall's car
Parking, in which Marshall struggles to parallel park and Dash is less than helpful
Rainbow by
froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley
Premature, in which Simon is festive at exactly the wrong time
Too Far, in which Simon is once again thwarted
Jackolantern by
froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem
Pest Control, in which Mayor Chisel is a dissatisfied customer
Pressure Tactics, in which the Mayor goes up against Eerie's ravens
Absent Friends, in which Wally and Simon share a moment
Reconnaissance, in which Dash is unhappy with his assignment
Changeable Conditions, in which the weather still hates Marshall
Trash Day, in which the bins need emptying
Cleanup, in which Dash is... himself.
Alternative Version, in which there is another Sparky
Shared Facilties, in which there is bathroom drama
The Fir Tree, in which there is further feline misbehaviour
Costumed Hero, in which Marshall is way too excited about left-over party trash
Clear Out, where the post-Christmas leftovers meet their doom
Project Research, in which there's something wrong with the tap water
Pixie Paste, in which Dash uses a garlic paste
Civic Duty, in which the Ladies Society for the Beautification of Eerie take up their positions
At The Dinner Table, in which an invitation is extended
Workaday, in which Simon heads to his job and encounters one of Harley's old foes
Moon Rabbit, in which Simon performs surgery
Presentation, in which Chisel has an edict, and Simon has a plan
Early Finish, in which there is a disturbance outside Simon's office
Ongoing Verse: Milkman
Preparations by
froodle. Winston Chisel, the morning he became Mayor.
Populace, in which it is just another unremarkable day in Eerie
Milk by
froodle, in which Marshall develops a completely cromulent fear of milk trucks
Castle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
Janet, in which Janet runs
The Listener, in which Eerie dreams, Devon watches, and Melanie makes a decision
Underwhelming, in which a cursed book fails to deliver
Reanimator by
froodle, in which the Milkman returns
Timeloop, in which Simon and Marshall repeat an unpleasant incident
LTI, in which the Eerie Dairy's health and safety record is tarnished, and blood must be shed
Timekeeping, in which the Milkmen and the Garbage Men ramp up the hostility
Multiplicity by
froodle, in which Marshall must once again confront parallel realities, diverging timelines and public speaking
Hound by
froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Spoiled, in which the Tellers are menaced
Slyboots by
froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.
Festival, in which Eerie celebrates the summer
Strawberry by
froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie
Clockface, in which there is defacement of public property, and also a character death
Lillian by
froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns
Underwater, in which Lillian has a conversation with her son-in-law, who isn't quite her son-in-law
Agenda, in which the Mayor has a meeting
Homecoming, in which Janet and Marshall return to the Teller house
Nap by
froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot
Cygnet, in which Lillian and Harley visit the lake
Pressure Tactics, in which the Mayor takes on Eerie's ravens
Remembrances of the Dead, in which the citizens of Eerie gather for All Souls
Waterlogged, in which there is a kelpie in the water main
Workaday, in which Simon goes to the office and encounters one of Harley's old foes
"Nobody's saying you can't be a person," he said, stepping backwards to avoid a spreading puddle of soda whose brand name was unknown to anyone born before 2047. "If you want, after this we can go to the Eerie Mall and do all kinds of cool people things. But for there to be an 'after', there needs to first of all be a right now, and right now our kitchen sink is overflowing with the space-time continuum and the contents of the laundry hamper is being used to soak up misplaced probabilities, and-"
He realised he was shouting and lowered his voice.
"And so right now what I really, really need is a time canoe, a linear paddle, and for you to let me tie this dino-proof twine around your centreline."
The time canoe flickered, sulkily, as it phased back into reality.
"Thank you."
Ongoing Verse: Microwave
Preliminary sketch for a custom Sparky plush by Pixelkei
Finished Sparky plush by Pixelkei
Sparky 2 plush by Erik237
Sparky versus Manticore sketch by Kari L Korthals
The Bridge, in which there is not a troll, and Mars is very sad
Garden Warfare, in which the age-old rivalry between garden gnomes and lawn flamingoes finally boils over
Bonfire by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Lost and Found, in which the Unkind Ones honour one of their own
Chicken, in which something has made it's den in Eerie
Ruminant, in which there are witches, and also a goat
Good to Eat, in which Marshall investigates the Chickeniest Chicken Palace
Underwhelming, in which a cursed book fails to deliver
Virtual Reality, in which Things Incorporated branches out into the world of home entertainment
Mystery Box, in which Syndi helps the boys out
Numeracy, in which Marshall is not believed
Statistically Possible, in which Marshall is still not believed
Rules of War, in which there is a waterfight
Family Business, in which Marshall and Syndi help their dad out
Castle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
Budget Restraints, in which Simon and Marshall's disguises are somewhat lacklustre.
Concealment, in which there is a costume party
Party Guests, in which the costume party is attended
Targeted Marketing, in which Radford has a new advertising campaign, and Marshall has doubts
Controversial, in which Poplio's wrath is invoked
Film Festival, in which Poplio and Holly Golightly battle it out
Competing Traditions, in which there's nothing worse than an Easter weekend
Gingerbread by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Leaves by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Defacement, in which the Eerie PD investigates a terrible crime
Foreseeable, in which an Eerie parade goes exactly as usual
Obvious, in which, in Dash's opinion, some people aren't worth saving
Loss Prevention, in which the boys investigate strange goings on at the Eerie Mall
Disco, in which there are ghouls, and disco balls
Pop Culture, in which Marshall dresses for Halloween
Offspring by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Message in a Bottle, in which something is bugging Marshall
And Introducing... in which Dash X makes some powerful allies
Untouchable, in which the boys are dismayed by Eerie's fauna
Shattered Dreams, in which there are cosmic whales
Ewww... in which Simon makes poor choices
Divergent, in which Harley and Dash have a conversation
The Worst Christmas Ever, in which Marshall buys a pie from a food stall, and is very disappointed
The Off Season, in which a stakeout at Lake Eerie proves disappointing
Observations, in which there is suspicious activity on Wolf Mountain
Wildlife by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Dinner Conversation, in which Syndi and Marshall revive an old argument
Don't Cross the Streams, in which Dash commits the cardinal sin
Sub-Aquatic, in which there are suspicious stains in the fountain
Aesthetics/Practicalities, in which Dash and Marshall clash over outerwear
Desired Effect, in which Simon and Marshall shop for decorations
Based on Your Previous Purchases by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Community Service, in which Dash refuses to quietly do his time
Technicalities, in which Simon is both disappointed, and mad
Golf Course, in which the re-seeding does not take as well as hoped
Housework by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Division of Labour, in which the eventually-agreed-upon rota may have overlooked a few things
Misleading, in which Grungy Bill struggles with the concept of French Toast
Breakfast by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Ghost in the Machine by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Consequences by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
The Microwave by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Basic Household Maintenance by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
The Lift, in which Marshall is not fooled
Torrential by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Shortest Day, in which the lack of daylight takes effect
Neighbourly, in which Marshall tries to help out a person who might not even be there
Saturday Brunch, in which some eggs go awry
Upgrade?, in which the possibility of a new sofa is mooted
Linens by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Bedtime, in which Marshall brushes his teeth
Bathtub, in which there is something in the pipes
Product Testing, in which there is something distressing on the breakfast table
Multiplicity, in which there are milkmen
Hound by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Night Music by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Houseshare, in which Sparky learns an important life lesson regarding Manticores
Sabotage, in which Marshall also learns an important life lesson regarding Manticores
Event Appropriate, in which Simon is startled
Inherent, in which evidence is destroyed and Marshall suspects a conspiracy
Inevitable, in which the weather is spiteful and the manticore is indifferent
In For The Night by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Errands by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Dinner Theatre, in which Marshall has trouble finishing his meal
Walkies, in which Simon takes his dog for a walk
Tractable, in which Sparky's new lead does not go well
Obedience, in which Sparky misbehaves and an ancient nature god is displeased
Play Date, in which Sparky mades some friends
The Bad News List, in which Dash makes an upsetting announcement
Stable, in which there is a Night Mare
Children Are Strange, in which there is a visitor
Morning Routine, in which Marshall brews coffee
Waterlogged by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
A Form You Are Comfortable With, in which Marshall has car drama
Parking Spot, in which Marshall is particular
Antiquing, in which Marshall offers a helping hand to Mary C. Carter, and she's not that into it
Arboretum, in which Simon keeps the home fires burning
Belfast Disco, in which it is St. Patrick's Day in Eerie
Bulk Buy, in which Dash's rivalry with the leprechauns quite literally spills over to a shared office space
Incendiary, in which Marshall gets the wrong end of the shillelagh
Bright Lights, in which there is glitter
Explicit Lyrics, in which Sparky is a cheeky boy
Woozy, in which Marshall isn't well
Leisurewear, in which Dash has some time off
Tempest, in which the Sea Hag makes an appearance
Rescue, in which there are jackalope kittens
Turnip, in which Marshall dispenses some interesting facts
Plausible, in which there is damage to Marshall's car
Parking, in which Marshall struggles to parallel park and Dash is less than helpful
Rainbow by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Premature, in which Simon is festive at exactly the wrong time
Too Far, in which Simon is once again thwarted
Jackolantern by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Pest Control, in which Mayor Chisel is a dissatisfied customer
Pressure Tactics, in which the Mayor goes up against Eerie's ravens
Absent Friends, in which Wally and Simon share a moment
Reconnaissance, in which Dash is unhappy with his assignment
Changeable Conditions, in which the weather still hates Marshall
Trash Day, in which the bins need emptying
Cleanup, in which Dash is... himself.
Alternative Version, in which there is another Sparky
Shared Facilties, in which there is bathroom drama
The Fir Tree, in which there is further feline misbehaviour
Costumed Hero, in which Marshall is way too excited about left-over party trash
Clear Out, where the post-Christmas leftovers meet their doom
Project Research, in which there's something wrong with the tap water
Pixie Paste, in which Dash uses a garlic paste
Civic Duty, in which the Ladies Society for the Beautification of Eerie take up their positions
At The Dinner Table, in which an invitation is extended
Workaday, in which Simon heads to his job and encounters one of Harley's old foes
Moon Rabbit, in which Simon performs surgery
Presentation, in which Chisel has an edict, and Simon has a plan
Early Finish, in which there is a disturbance outside Simon's office
Ongoing Verse: Milkman
Preparations by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Populace, in which it is just another unremarkable day in Eerie
Milk by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Castle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
Janet, in which Janet runs
The Listener, in which Eerie dreams, Devon watches, and Melanie makes a decision
Underwhelming, in which a cursed book fails to deliver
Reanimator by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Timeloop, in which Simon and Marshall repeat an unpleasant incident
LTI, in which the Eerie Dairy's health and safety record is tarnished, and blood must be shed
Timekeeping, in which the Milkmen and the Garbage Men ramp up the hostility
Multiplicity by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Hound by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Spoiled, in which the Tellers are menaced
Slyboots by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Festival, in which Eerie celebrates the summer
Strawberry by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Clockface, in which there is defacement of public property, and also a character death
Lillian by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Underwater, in which Lillian has a conversation with her son-in-law, who isn't quite her son-in-law
Agenda, in which the Mayor has a meeting
Homecoming, in which Janet and Marshall return to the Teller house
Nap by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Cygnet, in which Lillian and Harley visit the lake
Pressure Tactics, in which the Mayor takes on Eerie's ravens
Remembrances of the Dead, in which the citizens of Eerie gather for All Souls
Waterlogged, in which there is a kelpie in the water main
Workaday, in which Simon goes to the office and encounters one of Harley's old foes